Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

Submitted Tales From Technical Support

Tales From Technical Support Content

Inkjets usually aren't cost effective to repair... but in this case...
Posted 06/01/2016 by jayessell
 

Business has been a little slow and I'm tempted to charge for the privilege of stepping on my carpet.

Some guy phones, inkjet, one cartridge not latching.

"I'll look but the designers didn't really plan for repairs."

He brings over an HP printer/copier/scanner.

"If it's something really simple can I get $10?"

He must have planned on spending $50 and sees that as a bargain and agrees.

"You can't have two black cartridges. Replace this one with a color."

He pays. That'll cover two lunches.

Laptop Lockout
Posted 06/02/2016 by Lori Pringle
 

My brother was unable to log into his laptop, as he couldn't remember his password, and asked me to fix it.

I took a guess at what his password was. It was my first guess, and it was his email logon ID and his year of birth.

Then, he tells me - this is completely serious - that his cat had walked across the keyboard last time he used it, and must have reser the password to that.

Computer says no...
Posted 06/06/2016 by Anonymous Tech Supporter
 

I am not a tech but I thought you guys would find this amusing..

My boss came storming out of his office this morning and approach my colleague...

Boss: "Hey did you receive that email I sent you last week about that product we need on backorder?"

Colleague: "I'm not too sure what you mean, I run multiple orders everyday"

Boss: "Oh ok because usually when I send an email I get a message back straight away saying that it has been sent"

Me: "Have you checked your Sent Items folder?"

Boss: "What's that? I didn't know I had one of those"

*Facepalm*

Hacked account
Posted 06/11/2016 by headdesk
 

Cu says account is hacked. I ask for mail associated mail address.

"Would you like to add a security question to your account for a better security?"

"yes. But my account was hacked I think"

"No problem, please give me the security question and we can take care of your hacked account, don't worry"

"Someone must've hacked it. I have all these purchases on it"

"If you would be so kind as to provide the question, we may proceed to secure your account"

"And I really think it's hacked, I mean this account"

After 50 minutes we eventually manage to secure the account and add the question.

"Did you manage to access your account?"

"Yes, thank you, but this is not the hacked account.

Rogue Tech Bot!
Posted 06/16/2016 by Mizty Chase
 

My brother is an IT Specialist for the US Government now, making buku bucks.

But when he was in 7th grade, he was in a summer computer program (2000, and they learned how to take a part and put together computers. At the end of the program, the 3 best techs earned an award presented by Michael Dell and his wife. (we live in Austin, Dell was in Round Rock)

Flash forward to his Junior year of highschool (2006) and he was asked to have 3 class periods off so he could do technical support, and inventory of textbooks/projectors/software. He was so good at it, many teachers petitioned the principal to hire him for a meager 7.50/hr (to a teen that's a good start)

Since he wasn't allowed to work (parental permissions, needs to focus on school work) the building manager kept having him do menial tasks, because instead of hiring this young man, they raised the managers pay. But this manager was so illiterate with servers, and computers, that my brother helped do technical support for teachers without permission from him, even principal and vice principals, secretary, and so he wouldn't be caught or late to his other classes, if he did support, they wrote him a hall pass. (it was hard to get hall passes for anything at our high school)

Eventually, when my brother was a senior he was taking computer science classes, and rogue tech support on the side. I think he was even paid a couple times.

He taught me a million things and now I lead a computer re-utilization program for a non-profit, and I have many tech tales about the clients I deal with who don't even know how to turn a laptop on.

But thats for another time.

Clash of Clams
Posted 06/27/2016 by mee
 

A client of my non-profit computer program called me last week and said, "you sent me a broke laptop, a box keeps popping up and I can't make it go away." I tried to get him to run a virus scanner and Microsoft Sec. Essentials but he was not understanding anything so I sent him a label to return the computer to me.

When I get it a week later, I start it up, and it takes 10 minutes to get to the desktop (Windows Vista, say no more), and then when I get to it, it takes me 5 minutes to open the start menu and control panel. All the while a Chrome pop up for mediaclick01 keeps popping up.

I see what the client was saying, but it shouldnt be that slow. I take a look at his programs, 4 pc cleaner tools (garbage ones), a bunch of fake chromium browsers, games installed from playing Clash of Clams and clicking on EVERY single ad for a game an dinstalling it. He also had mp3 downloaders (terrible ones) and all these programs that wouldn't let me uninstall them.

So I turn the computer off forcefully, because the start menu didn't want to open up again, and call the client.

Me: "Sir, we did not send you a broken laptop, all the hardware is fine, and you downloaded tons of spyware, malware, viruses, you name it. There is no way to return it to the way it was when you got it (coudlnt't get to system restore)So I have to reinstall Windows Vista from scratch.'

Him: "I didn't download spywares. You're lying!'

Me: "What did you download?"

Him: "--Lists all the programs I mentioned--"

Me: "Sir, you cannot install everything, you have ot be smart about it, make sure its a legit company, and read the reviews before downloading off Google Play or the Internet."

Him: "I wasn't using Internet Explorer....I was using Chromium."

Me: "Sir, Chromium is garbage, when I send this back, please do not install naything that I haven't pre-downloaded for you. If you want a program, call me, and I will help you get a good version that doesn't corrupt your computer."

Him: "Its Google Chromium, ma'am, and I am a christian man my computer isn't corrupted."

Me: " Okay sir, but this is the last time we will issue tech support or a replacement (he has had 3) because you've been a year in our program and its past the warranty dates."

Him: "Fine."

Some people just don't understand, even if a program says it will Clean Your PC or Speed it Up, make sure its not bullshit before you do it. You could render a whole new laptop or desktop worthless.

--Mizty Chaze-

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Tales from the Techs
June 2016
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