Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

Submitted Tales From Technical Support

Tales From Technical Support Content

Laziest Tech in the world
Posted 05/05/2015 by Steve Surjaputra

I worked with a client who has an outside IT Tech. They can't launch our software, so I dialed in to look.

I looked at two of their files and, sure enough, they were hit by one of the CryptoLocker variant. I told them to contact their outside tech to do a virus scan and to restore a good backup. I thought that would be the end of that.

A while later, she calls me back to talk to their tech because they didn't believe that they were hit.

I called their tech. First of all he doesn't see why he has to scan it because their antivirus is running all the time (AVG).Told him to just run a manual scan and, hopefully it'll catch it.

I then told him we need to restore the backup. He said that I can do that because he did a straight copy using robocopy and he gave me the locations.

Gee I wish I made $100 an hour.

Mothers and Scanners
Posted 05/16/2015 by The Frustrated Daughter

Yes, it’s me again, with another winner from my mother. Sadly, I wasn’t at her house, so it was yet another phone call.

Mom: “I need to send you something.”

Me: “Why? We’ll be there Sunday.”

Mom: “It can’t wait.”

Me: “Mail will take longer.”

Mom: “On the computer.”

Me: “So, scan it, attach it, and send it.”

(I didn’t bother to mention that the instructions for each step was already in that little notebook I wrote out for her)

Mom: “Scan, attach and send?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mom: “Okay, how?”

Me: “Turn on your all-in-one.”

Mom: “My copier?”

(Brief explanation of everything her machine can do)

Mom: “Okay, I’ve got it on and I’ve got the paper in it like I normally do when copying.”

Me: “Okay, there should be a scan button on the front of it somewhere.” (Been a while since I’ve used it, so can’t tell her exactly where it is.)

Mom: “It’s printing.”

Me: “You hit copy instead of scan.”

Mom: “Oh. Should I try it again?”

Me: “If you want to email it, then yes.”

Mom: “Okay, shut it down….turning it back on….putting the paper back in.”

Me: “Mom! Why did you….nevermind. Now, hit the SCAN button.”

Mom: “Okay.” (there’s a brief pause) “It’s not doing anything.”

Me: “A box should pop up showing that it’s scanning.”

Mom: “All I’m seeing is my email.”

Me: “Get out of your email, what’s on your screen?”

Mom: “My cookies.”

Me: (thinking...and saying) “WHAT??”

Mom: “My kitchen, when the kids made Easter cookies.” (yes, her background)

Me: (trying not to cry) “That’s fine, mom.”

Mom: “Now what?”

Me: (explaining the scan button...again.)

Mom: “It’s too hard, I’ll just read it to you.”

A full 20 minutes later of her reading an entire page of information - front and back of the sheet - for only sentences that were truly important.

I’m seriously debating disconnecting our phone...

"Any key" doesn't mean ANY key
Posted 05/21/2015 by Rich

This happened about 25 years ago, but all the "any key" stories prompted me to add it. My Brother In Law bought a new computer, and was puzzled by the "press any key" message. He called me up (long distance) and said "it doesn't work if you press any key. He then listed the fact that the CTRL and ALT keys didn't work. My response was:

"You're right Jimmy; why don't you call Bill Gates and tell him?"

"Smart ass."

"How long did it take you to figure this out?"

"A couple of days."

"Good for you."

Posted 05/22/2015 by Rich

Back in 1982, I planned the purchase of my first computer. I discussed my plans with a few co-workers. One of them said "Let me know when you do so I can close my bank accounts."

The tech asked "Why?"

"Once Van (my nickname) has his computer working, he'll be getting in touch with EVERYBODY'S money."

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May 2015
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