Tales From Technical Support Content
I used to work in a large Secondary school that had around 1500 pupils. The school was very pro-active with things like interactive whiteboards in every classroom. I got a call one day that the ceiling mounted projector for one of the whiteboards in science department was not working at all. When I reached the classroom the science teacher was standing on her chair while pointing the remote at the projector which indeed was not doing anything. I went to the next classroom and borrowed the remote out of there and pointed it at her projector which switched on straight away. New batteries needed I said and left the classroom quickly before laughing all the way back the the office.
My friends are pretty ignorant with technology. Some of them even call everything "the computer". Typical conversation with these people: "Hey, I saw this newcomer video for SSBB on the computer with Sonic in it." (Yes, one of my friends is that ignorant with technology). Me: "Wait, what?!?!" Then we argue about its authenticity for 10 minutes (I try to explain to him about video editing software and things like Adobe Flash and Photoshop, but it seems to blow his mind). In the end he sticks with his believe. My friends also get viruses all the time, and dont know how. One of my friends doenst even do anything with it. His family just sends it off to Geek Squad. Conversation about that: Friend: "We had another virus last week, and we sent it off to Geed Squad." Me: "Dude, you know Geek Squad is a worthless pile of shit?"
Then one of my friends got a new computer with Vista Home Premium (I was so relived they weren't suckered into buying Home Basic). I tried to give him some advice about Vista, but he wont listen to me. (I posted this in another thread, which lead me to making this topic) Normal advice: Me: "Why are you still using IE? Upgrade to Firefox or Opera, they're way better and more secure." Friend: "No, we're fine with IE." *some time later* Me: "Why in god's name are you still using Mcafee?!?! Use AVG Free or something like that. It will make your internet go way faster. (they have the same internet connection as I do, but their's is about 1/2 the speed mine is)" Friend: "Oh, don't mess with anything. We dont want another virus." *a little later* Me: "Can I at least turn off this stupid Welcome Center you never use? Or that useless sidebar?" Friend: "Don't touch anything, we dont want our computer messed up." As you can see my friends are (how should I put this)................ not very technologically informed. My brother Tyler thinks their stubbornness towards me is a good thing because then they might get dependent on me, but I still try to help them. Even though to this day they don't listen to me.
I have worked in tech support at a state university for three years now. Dealing with the Ipod generation is really fun, let me tell you. Everyone thinks that they know what is best for their computer.
This brings me to repeat offenders.
We had a person bring their computer in for virus removal, every tech's bread and butter. This computer had enough virii and malware on it to choke a horse. We did the standard cleaning and installed quality free antivirus, firewall, and antispyware programs. I even spent time telling the person that many of the toolbars and p2p clients they were using had caused the problem.
The next day the same person brings the same computer back in and tells me that I didn't do a darned thing to his computer because all of the viruses were back.
This person reinstalled everything that I had removed. And since the antivirus and firewall that I installed for them wouldn't let them use some of their toolbars, they removed them.
There are hundreds of these idiots at just this one institution. This is what we techs have to look forward to for the rest of our lives.
This scenario has happened enough times that we have started a "banned" list of people that we will no longer provide support for.
These students are here to learn, right? right?????
I work at a tech center dealing with multifunction fax/printer/scanners. We get a lot of calls from people that are just dumb. This person rose above and beyond that.
She called me up, absoluetly freaking out about how there was no usb port on her printer, and how it "disappeared" after she moved around her office. She's a lawyer. Lawyers are very important people, with NO time, you see.
She keeps telling me she's trying to plug the usb into the slot, but the slot changed, and it got bigger. I'm thinking, she's trying to either plug it into a network card, as the model she's using has a nic in it, or she's trying to plug it into one of the fax ports. No, she's trying to plug it into a usb port, with the arrows and the trident symbol, etc. This lady is nearly crying, and throwing a vicious fit because her usb "just won't FIT!!". And it's my fault. Because I made the thing, and I made it so it didn't fit, and our usb ports are broken, and we make faulty equipment. I'm annoyed by her, because she's crazy, but also trying not to laugh, because i can hear her stomping around and freaking out, and i have this image in my head of some overweight lady in a pink business blazer just losing her damn mind over her "growing usb port".
about 15 minutes into the call, the self-important lawyer realizes that, hey!, there's two (2) cords near the printer. and one is for (insert dur here) her blackberry. apparently, we should be more clear.
because THAT even LOOKS like the right cord. haha another day in paradise!
Here's a funny thing that happened while I was taking an IT exam at my local test center.
I was in the test room, sat at a screen, facing a long list of partially completed exam questions, struggling badly and running out of time. My brain was completely fried and my attention was fading. I was seeking inspiration from staring at the ceiling when I noticed a guy being escorted into the exam room. He was seated down next to me and had his exam set up ready to roll.
After about five minutes, I could see him tapping at the keyboard and panicking since his screen had gone blank. He went out, came back with the invigilator and after a few minutes was back up and running again.
This happened several times, always about 5 minutes apart. I eventually gave up on my exam, clicked the finish button and left while his screen was being fixed for a fourth time.
As I was leaving (and while looking at my miserable score), I asked the invigilator what was wrong with the guys machine. He said that nothing was wrong with it, the problem was that the first question of his test was "You are a desktop technician and want to shut down a computer, how would you do that?". Rather than click the correct multiple choice answer, yep... he kept clicking Start and Shut Down!
I never saw the guy again but I guess an alternative career might be appropriate!
I'm the network admin for a small business. Our uplink to the internet is a DSL line. I was called into the office around 9:00 pm. yesterday evening because the internet link was not working. After going over our net and equipment, and finding no problems. I established a dial up link to our ISP and tried to traceroute back to our DSL link. The problem appeared to be a router on their net. It is now 11:00 pm. as I dial our ISP's tech support #. After jumping through the automated menu's, waiting on hold, then giving our account info to the support guy, I finally explain to him that we have a connectivity issue, that I have spent the last 2 hours checking my net, and that the problem appears to be on their net. Then the fun begins, first "reboot your router", a linux box with 162+ days of uptime. Doesn't fix the problem. Then, "plug a winbox directly into the DSL modem", did I mention the DSL modem is in the back of a locked comms cabinet, that a monkey would have a hard time maneuvering in. Next comes the part were the tech tries to figure out why the winbox has an ip address which was assigned by our dhcp server before it was disconnected from our net and hooked up to the modem. Followed by a check of network properties to make sure it is really getting its ip from dhcp. In the process I have learned that he can't remember "off the top of my head" whether you type cmd or command into the run box to get a DOS prompt, even though I told him what OS version the winbox is running. Next his prowess shines as he suggests the ultimate fix "reboot the winbox". H'mm he likes that procedure. I mentioned he has our account info right? I am pretty sure it would include the fact that we have a fixed ip address. The winbox, still connected to the DSL modem, has now rebooted, surprise, it can't find a dhcp server and continues using its old dhcp assigned address. Tech boy now suggests that we can try all of this on another Pc, or he can escalate this to network support. Wait a second here. I have just spent 45 minutes on the phone with our ISP's tech support and they are not network support. Today the internet is working and we recieved a message from tech support which is the funniest thing i have heard in a long time. the audio is at http://www.cmpublishers.com/tech.wma . After work today, i head to the local coffee shop. A lady walks in, orders, and sits at a terminal to use the net for a while. Suddenly, she exclaimes the the barista "how the blanking blank am I supposed to run a business when the blanking internet over there goes down ever time the wind blows around here. Appearantly I am not the only one having technical difficulties with the local ISP.
This actually appeared on a code learning forum that I am a part of. "I am trying to do the Input Dialog with the Message/Output Dialog. From my notes and the java examples posted online, I have to type "import javax.swing.*;" at the beginning of the program. But,when I type "import javax.swing.*;" a yellow squiggly line appears underneath "javax.swing." Eclipse says that the problem is that "the import java.swing is never used." I really don't know what to do!!!" How about using some COMMON SENSE.
I was working at |>ell as one of their phone monkeys in the business division. This involved taking calls for any systems in the business line (Optiple>ell? Then you need to call them!" So she says, "I already called them, they told me to call you." Sorry, can't help you. You need to call them.
Then she starts crying. Okaaay. Then she starts telling me about how she doesn't know enough about her computer, and how she's in chemotherapy. I'm sure she would have said her dog was dying to increase the 'sob story' factor, but I stood my ground. It took about half an hour to get rid of her.
Another guy called in once (heavy southern accent) and couldn't even indentify what model he had. I named out all the major models that were sold, consumer and business alike. No dice. Is there a sticker with a seven digit code on it, letters and numbers, probably ends in 1? Nope, couldn't find it. Is there a flap that opens with a label underneath? No.
As a last resort I got him to look for the shipping label or packing slip that would have come with the system. While it was being searched for, the guy comes back on the phone. Apparently the police had arrived and he was going to have to call back later. Fifteen minute call and I couldn't even find out what he had...
Another guy called in, wondering why his old keyboard wouldn't plug into his new system. As it turns out, this was a new system that had USB ports only, no PS/2 ports.
"But I need a keyboard to use the computer!"
"Did the new computer come with a keyboard."
"Yes."
"Well, why don't you use the 'new' keyboard that came with your 'new' computer, and see how that works out?"
Last one...
A guy calls in, wants to know where the manual is to his new computer.
"Well, there should be one on one of the CDs that came with it. Otherwise, you can access our support website at support.|>ell.com."
"No, I want a printed copy."
After a quick check to make sure we didn't make printed manuals anymore (I was sort of taken aback), I told him we didn't. According to him, "all" the other manufacturers printed manuals. Right.
"We don't print manuals anymore. They're heavy, thay cost money to make and more to ship. It's much more efficient to make a PDF and/or HTML file and put it on the website. If some information changes or needs to be added we can do that immediately. You can get the manual and just read it off the screen."
"I don't like that, the window gets in the way of what I'm trying to learn about."
"Well, why don't you just minimize it and bring it up again when you need to read it."
"No! I want a book, lying on the desk so I can read it."
"Well, why don't you just print out the pages you need and use that."
"No! I want a manual."
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you something we don't have. I've given you some reasonable alternatives but I can't send you a manual."
Perhaps he'd like a time machine back to the nineties or eighties.
