Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

Back when I was working on Level 1 helpdesk, I had a call from a user who wanted a hand to check her email.

I asked if she was familiar with establishing a connection to the internet, or as I put it "Could you please jump online for me, so that we can get your email working".

User - "One moment, i'll just do so now"

Me - Can hear a loud bump and other noises of a person moving

User - "OK I am now sitting on top of the internet"

Me - "What do you mean sorry?"

User - "I jumped on to the box with the lights and I am sitting on it like you asked me to"

Me - What box is that?

User - The one that makes the phone call noise

This is not a joke, and really did occur (unless this poor user was yanking my chain). Needless to say, both my self and my colleagues where in tears when I told them about it.

A quick tale that I get all the time.

I work in IT for a major financial institution. Most of my job is troubleshooting HW and SW issues for users in 3 different offices. Here is a typical statement I hear all the time as I am sure many of you do...

"My (insert any HW or SW here) is broken. It was working 15 minutes ago..."

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that the definition of broken? If it is doing the same thing now that it was 15 minutes ago then it was either broken when you got there or its still working.

I guess because its a computer people assume that it will give some kind of warning before actually ceasing to work!

"Ok, so where is the other end of that cable?"

"There isn't one".

So the network admin has a problem with her computer. It boots, but it runs so slowly the system is unusable. I asked her if she installed anything recently. She replied that she had done Windows updates and was going to test out a new anti-virus client. She claimed to have downloaded the anti-virus install but not yet run it. So I thought the problem was with the updates. We had updated a few other computers, including 2 servers! Major panic time. Reboot. The servers run just fine. Asked her if she installed any other software, changed any settings, or changed any hardware in her computer. She replied no to all three. Finally, I figured that the system would probably need to be reformatted. More panicking; all her files were on this computer. After waiting it out while we attended to other things, we managed to get a look at the Task Manager. Three executables running that I had never seen before. Fearing a virus or some other nasty bug, I quickly googled the program name. It comes back: "eTrust Antivirus component". We have Symantec Norton Antivirus on our system. Well there's the problem. The two antivirus programs are conflicting and slowing the system to a crawl! Admin still professes that she did not install the eTrust Antivirus. I managed to get into Safe Mode and disable the services that the software needed, rebooted, and uninstalled (couldn't uninstall from Safe Mode because it was an MSI).

So how DID the eTrust get on there if she never installed it? Magic, I suppose?

(X)

This tale isn't about a customer, but rather about the former HR person at the tech support call center I work for.

Let us first establish that this particular HR person had gotten the short end of the stick when it came to brains; she frequently felt free to say, "I don't know nothin' about them computers!" with a painfully cheerful expression on her face. It was impossible to be in the same room with her for more than a few minutes without feeling an uncontrollable urge to beat her in the face with whatever object was handy.

A few months after I started working at this call center, this HR person was moved to a cubicle one row away from mine. Since she annoyed my colleagues and me in an indescribable way, we decided to ignore her as much as possible.

No more than a week after she'd moved into this cubicle, however, she suddenly popped out of her cubicle one day, glared at those of us on the row next to her, and yelled, "EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU *TRY* TO BE QUIET?! I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO SOMETHING IN HERE!!" and darted back into her cube.

Nevermind that all of us were on the phones, taking support calls, and that talking (to customers) is part of our job. I guess the whole call center was just expected to stop operation at her slightest whim!

She was fired shortly after that and a few other similarly brilliant instances.

I work in a school as a tech support/webmaster. I was teaching a group of teachers (with a co-worker of mine) some basic navigation skills in Windows Explorer and how to use e-mail. I knew it was going to be one hell of a day so I tried to remember everything we went through.

Day started real great. One teacher came by our office to express her disgust towards a laptop she had borrowed from the school. It seems she couldn't get to the Internet. We let her rant and rave for some time until my co-worker asked her a question.

Co-worker: "How good are you with computers in general?"

Teacher: "Well, I have worked with them for five years now. Every day. How about that?"

I noticed the pride in her tone, but didn't say anything.

Co-worker: "Great. Have you tried pinging any address?"

Teacher: *blank look*

So much for the five-years-every-day -basis. Now I'm not saying that pinging should be that obvious for everyone but please: do not overestimate your skills, people. We asked her to bring the laptop to our office. Haven't heard from her since.

Couple of hours later we find ourselves in the computer classroom. Notice that I nor my co-worker had nothing to do with teaching. We were there for one reason only: if something goes wrong, we fix it.

Anyhow, our legendary (you'll see how he earned his status) computer teacher was going to run his little e-mail/Explorer show. He really nailed it this time. Me and my co-worker are still in tears.

He started the training class by powering up his computer. All went fine until he opened 'My Computer'.

Computer teacher: "OK. So now you should see 'My Computer' opened. There are drives enough to make you uneasy but don't worry. I know...hey, what is this...oh geez, I knew I should've removed that USB-stick safely. You see, I seem to have 4 ghost drives in this computer--E:, F:, G: and H:."

He was referring to the 4-in-1 -card reader installed in the 3 1/2 inch slot.

Then he decided to try the amazing world of the Internet. As he was firing up Netscape, a "Create a new profile" -box appeared. This one appears only if you have logged in already to another computer inside our LAN (i.e. you have two or more computers running Netscape at the same time with the same login name).

I had to tell him that if he's ever going to proceed with the class, he needs to log off from the other computers first. Yes, you can create a new profile in Netscape and be on your merry way to the Internet but this class was supposed to last only half an hour (I would need to config his e-mail program too--any configuring is time away from the class).

I don't know if he had a sudden alzheimer or something but the computer teacher seemed to be even more computer illiterate than usual. He didn't know how to add a signature to your e-mail, he didn't know how to configure an auto-reply vacation message nor did he understand that in order to check out the disk space he consumes, he needs to select all folders, not just one.

Unfortunately, he was not the only one to act dumb. For example, one teacher asked why Google wasn't set as a homepage for the school's computers since she was sure Google was her home computer's homepage. She failed to understand that her home computer isn't in any way connected to the school's LAN.

Another teacher wanted to know why her 'My Computer' didn't respond the same way it did for others. I had her minimize the Word document containing a screenshot of 'My Computer'.

These teachers I can easily forgive since they asked for help (that's what they were there for, right?) and didn't think themselves as gods. However, there was this one who thought she knew everything just because she could doubleclick yet didn't know how to right-click.

Well, I'm off to show our computer teacher how to add paper to a printer.

One of the "joys" of a 24x7 ISP helpdesk is the grave yard shift. People who call during this time are either:

Drunk

Can't sleep

Stupidly Amazing

Amazingly Stupid

Granted it's quiet, but the calls that come through are strange. Here's the best and weirdest I've had.

Me: This is xxxxxx how can I help?

Customer: My dial up internet is not working

Me: can you hear your modem dialling a number?

Customer: I don't know it's not working

Me: what happens when you double click the blue E?

Customer: I don't click that I never use it, I click on Start then connect to then I dial up

Me: what happens next?

Customer: Well then I hear it dial and then the internet doesn't work and I demand you fix it

Me: after you hear it dial and it connects, double click the blue E and you should be able to see a web page

The customer then for the next 10 minutes proceeded to abuse me because according to him, he had never used the blue E with us OR his last 3 providers and he had joined us because his last 3 providers "didn't work either"

Next call

Me: This is xxxxxx how can I help?

Customer: I have your so called fast DSL and it's really slow. Fix it

Me: (after checking speed at our end) Is it slow on webpages or email?

Customer: I don't even get to use those. My computer just has an eggtimer on it. My son who's good with computers upgraded to Windows XP and it's made your internet slow

Me: OK unplug the modem and restart your computer

Customer: OK I've done that, but your internet is still slow

Me: The modem is unplugged, it's not to do with the internet. This is related to the computer, which you need to see a computer technician about.

Customer: this isn't good enough. I demand to speak to your manager now

I transfer the call to my boss and they are with this moron for 20 minutes explaining that since the DSL modem is unplugged, the internet has nothing to do with it and her son putting XP on a Penitum 2 with only a 4GB drive and 128 MB RAM has made the PC slow, not the internet

Me: This is xxxxxx how can I help?

Customer: I keep getting this page which asks for my username and password and I can't get rid of it

(we have a page that people are redirected to for using the wrong username and password in their connection or for billing problems. 99 times out of 100, retyping the username and password in the connection fixes the problem)

Me: did you try putting in your username and password?

Customer: No, because I know what the problem is. It's because of the static electricity coming from my body isn't it?

Me: No ma'am, that page has appeared because of the wrong username and password in your connection

Customer: No I don't think so. I know if I move somewhere where there's less metal objects, this will be fixed won't it?

Me: all you need to do to fix the problem is to retype your username and password in your dial up connection.

Customer: No No No, it's the static electricity in my body causing this. Could you recommend a good town to move to to stop this?

Me: All I can recommend is to retype your username and password and try to connect again

Customer: No, I think I might turn off the computer (Click)

I'd recommend a foil hat, but the "static electricity" would cause a short and her brain to work

Me: This is xxxxxx how can I help?

Customer: (Drunk) Er..um...this is...ah..xxxx. I need to be able to talk to my ladies on the internet

Me: (wondering what number he called) So you can't talk to your ladies on the internet?

Another operator almost falls down laughing. They had them 5 minutes ago

Customer: Every time I....try to......the..um...password doesnt't work. (After checking the server logs, I discover he's also gone to the same page that static electricity lady did)

Me: OK, to fix this you need to retype your username and password and try again

Customer: i've already...um....(expletive)..done that and I need to talk to my ladies.

after 40+ minutes of him blabbering about "his ladies", it turns out that this one had slurred typing as well as speech, the password in the dial up connection was:

**********************************************************

Me: This is xxxxxx how can I help?

Customer: I just had a thunderstorm go by, and now I can't connect

Me: did you have the phone line connected to the modem at the time

Customer: Well I don't know. I was on the internet and then I heard a huge bang and another bang on the computer, but now I can't connect

I quitely explain to them that there is a good chance his modem is now damaged and provide him with his PC vendors support number. HE probably has more chance of having static electricity coming from him than the weird lady.

The last call is the best. It is 5:30 am and we have an hr and a half left to the end of shift and this retard has already called in 3 times about his scanner.

He has been trying to email a scanned copy of an important document and he has scanned it at a really high resolution. He then has attached it in an email and is abiout 10 MB in size. Which will take hours on a DIAL UP CONNECTION

I have already told him we can't help him with lowering the settings on the scanning software in the last call

Me: This is xxxxx how can I help

Customer: my scanner still does not work and I want some help fixing it

Me: As I advised you in the previous call, no one here can help you with your scanner. We have given you the support number for your scanners manufacturer. You will need to give them a call.

Customer: Well they're not open. What if I come to your office and bang on the desks, will that make you listen?

(Considering he has no idea where our call centre is, that would be an impressive feat)

Me: Banging on the desks is not going to fix the problem. You wil need to call them when they are open

He hung up on me and then at 6 am, called back for 5th time, got the operator next to me and wasted an HOUR talking about the scanner and banging on the desks, this time to see how high the staplers would jump (we don't need or have staplers on our desks).

He then demands to speak to a manager. So the call gets transferred to the morning shift supervisor and tells the supervisor that beacuse he has called for help with the scanner and got none, he now has to drive to the next town with no sleep and personally deliver the document.

On hearing the supervisors suggestion that he post or fax it in, this customer abused the supervisor for 20 minutes becuase his "internet wasn't doing what it had promised".

The supervisor ended up hanging up on him

Thank god I only do the graveyard shift every few months

she called me and said she hooked up her new printer but it doesnt work- i asked if it came w/a cd w/the driver- she said yes but she couldnt see where to put the cd in the printer

This tech tale goes back to Windows 3.1 - wow, the memories. In the office I worked in, there was a particular error that would occur that would only be solved by rebooting the machine. Ctrl-Alt-Delete, follow instructions on screen that say either press enter to return to Windows (hmm, did it kill the current process as well, or just return to Windows?), or press Ctrl-Alt-Delete to reboot the computer. A new user who had identified herself as an "expert" started encoutering this problem, and asked if she should reboot by using Ctrl-Alt-Delete. I said yes, pleased she knew what reboot and Ctrl-Alt-Delete meant.

It turned out she kept on having this problem though, over the next few weeks, although she didn't tell me about it. One day I was walking by her desk and saw what she did - she pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, all right, but then she pressed Enter to return to Windows. I asked her why, and she said that was how she always rebooted, and WHY DIDN'T I TELL HER THIS BEFORE, as she'd wasted a lot of time on this problem!

Urm, could it be because you said you knew how to do it, and all you needed to do was read the computer screen to find out, or you could have asked me? She was truly annoyed at me, and probably more so after I told her to remember to read the screen in the future.

Customer : Hi, I have a problem with Adobe reader.

Me : Okay, can you tell me what you are doing with it? Are you getting an error?

Customer : I'm trying to get a radio station over the web.

Me : I see. Is Adobe still working then?

Customer : No, I was messing about with it and it doesn't work anymore. I've been trying everything to get this radio station. Can you help me. Adobe doesn't start up anymore

Me : Okay. I'm afraid altering Adobe in any way won't help with getting your radio station.

Customer : Oh. I see.

Me : Would you like help in reinstalling Adobe Reader

Customer : Yes Please.

A few too many years ago, working for a small computer store, we had a gentleman come in to purchase a new unit. After questioning him about his purpose for buying a computer - gaming, internet, business, etc. - we discussed appropriate components. His needs were small but his wallet (and ego)was large enough that he had to have THE BEST!

Two days later he came to pick up his new machine and was impressed by the 'speed' and flexibility. Now, he had lived in the area - small Alberta town - a long time and knew about our irregular power outages and brown outs and we had discussed them when talking about his needs. Needless to say we tried to get him to purchase a good UPS or at least a good surge protector but!

"You guys just want more of my money. I paid enough for this thing already, don't need any of that garbage!"

That night I watched one of the more spectacular Rocky Mountain thunder storms, complete with beautiful blue exploding transformers and fork and sheet lightning every few seconds. I thought of todays customer and grinned. Sure enough, next morning he was in, carrying his computer and a most woebegone expression.

"It won't work," he said painfully, "can you fix it?

We opened the case right there on the counter and showed him the blackened fragments inside. Ther was virtually nothing salvagable and, because of no protection, no warranty.

The computer was placed in a position of honor next to our power protection equipment with the price sheet for the replacement unit attached.

Sold a lot of APC units from that.

I am an I.T manager. Some times one just gives up trying to explain to people how to use software, Operating Systems or any kind of hardware. So we take the short root and try and make life easy for both sides.

One day I was trying to teach this sweet elderly lady how to save her documents to the folders in her PC. She had a hard time trying to grasp the facts of how the folder system worked. Pressed for time (which I had already spent over 40 minutes trying to explain) I resolved to an easy root. I changed her default save option (for documents) to the desktop.

This went fine for over two weeks until this sweet old lady called me and told me that her PC was filled with documents. And that she felt there was no more room left to write new documents. I told her I would visit her tonight and work out her problem.

When I went to see her PC she showed me the desktop which was filled with documents she had written in the last two weeks.

Now tell me who is the fool here her or me???

I guess one must foresee the out comes of ones limited solutions.

Cheers,

Derya

Very short:

Some people I know had a problem with their internet service. They have Comcast. One of the guys there was on the phone for an hour with Comcast tech support. I came in the next day and diagnosed the problem in a second: unplugged ethernet cable between the router and the cable modem. *Sigh*

(X)

I work for an American High-Speed Internet ISP. The department I'm in is responsible for taking calls from the installation techs out in the field. We help them with any computer problems they may be having, and also any problems with the registration system for actually getting the customer online.

I have a lot of stories that I could share with you, but I think I will limit it to just a couple. But I will post again with more examples :)

Example 1

Tech physically installed NIC, plugged in modem, and was wondering why it wasn t working. Tech didn t know anything about drivers, what they were or how to set them up.

Example 2

My tech asked me how I knew what he was doing.... I told him there is a camcorder in his monitor that I can log into and watch what he was doing.... lol and he thought I was serious.....

And there's more where that came from!

The "Unplugged Cable" story above is mine, here's the sequel:

The other problem my friends had was that their network was completely messed up. They showed me an error that occurred when they tried to access documents on their server. Seeing the message, I immediately went to the server. It had an error that complained about an invalid IP address. So I try releasing and renewing the IP address. Same error. So I figure I'll try rebooting. That seems to solve most Windows problems. Biiiiig mistake. I've already started the reboot before they tell me that for some reason the server is taking HALF AN HOUR or more to boot!

Unwilling to wait that long, I forcibly reboot the system into safe mode. It boots just fine. Figuring the problem is clearly in the network configuration, I'm now thinking that both the server (Windows 2003 Small Business) and the router are set to be DHCP servers. But of course, when I try to access the network configuration, I can't because I didn't boot safe mode with networking. So I try that. Back to taking forever. Now wondering what to do, I decide to try Directory Services Restore Mode, figuring maybe that will boot it with networking, but without the stuff that makes it take forever. That gets the server to skip part of it, but I still have to wait for the rest of it, so I surfed over to TechTales on another computer and submitted my previous story. :)

I am finally able to access the network configuration and discover that it is not set to be a DHCP server. Then I have another look at all the cables and networking hardware next to the server and a thought occurs to me. If it panned out, I was going to flip.

As it so happened, they had just moved into a new office, wired for ethernet. So they had a nice patch panel connected to a 16-port Netgear switch. Said switch was then connected to an 8-port Linksys router. There were three other cables connected to that router. One was to another point on the patch panel, the second to the server, and the third... to a wireless broadband router.

So I determine the IP address of the second router and try to login to it. The usual password that they have set for most of the technical stuff doesn't work. I try a few variations, all of which fail, then go for broke. I pull up the user manual for the second router on Linksys's site and find the default password. Bingo!

Perusing through the configuration, in addition to already knowing that the password hasn't been changed from the default (!), I find the following:

1. SSID broadcast enabled

2. No encryption set

3. No MAC address filtering

So basically anyone with wireless networking gear anywhere near their office could tap into their network and their broadband internet connection! Then there was also one more thing:

4. Set to be a DHCP server

Now fuming at whatever idiot set this up, I go about cleaning things up. I pull the wired router out. Only three cables need to be hooked to the wireless router, which has four LAN ports, so there was no need for both routers. I then reconfigure the wireless router to match the configuration of the wired router. The computers are all happy and can talk to each other now.

But this tale doesn't end there, no siree. The W2K3 server also happens to be their e-mail server, although not their web server, which is hosted elsewhere. I noted that on the wired router, this server had been set up to be the DMZ host. This immediately struck a bad chord in me. Why the hell would you expose your server to the entire Internet? But I decide to set it as DMZ host, then run GRC.com's ShieldsUp! test to see how bad it is. First I have to correct the server's TCP/IP configuration because the idiot from Comcast that couldn't diagnose an unplugged cable had them change the configuration of the server to a dynamic IP address assigned by DHCP. To set as DMZ host, I needed it to have a static IP. So I set one, Windows wants a reboot, I let the system have it. Hey, it boots up real quick now!

Configure the DMZ host and run the test. It comes back instantly with a gazillion open ports and most of the rest are closed. Immediately deciding this will not do, I disable the DMZ host and set the router to forward only port 110, then re-run the test. Everything comes back stealthed, except 110 which is closed. Good.

Everything seems to be back in working order now. They had been having problems with their printer, but that seemed to have been cleared up. I discovered at this point that said printer was connected to an ethernet print server. It had probably been suffering the same problems all the rest of the computers had. As a precautionary measure, I changed the admin password on the wireless router, with the wired router now disconnected and sitting on a filing cabinet. I would have set up some encryption and MAC filtering but without having access to the laptops that they used with it, I didn't dare.

I have no idea what imbecile set up that wireless router, but if I ever find out I'm going to slap them silly.

(X)

Me: Me of course. :D

Dumb: Dumb Tech Supporter

Dumb: Hello! This is **** tech support. My name is Dumb and how can I help you?

Me: Hello. I just bought this wireless network PC card, and it worked, but first time I removed it, it got fried and it won't work anymore, no lights turns on and windows don't even detect it anymore.

Dumb: I see, now click on the bars by the clock...

Me: There's no bars since windows won't detect the broken card.

Dumb: OK now go to network connections and double click the wireless icon.

Me: There's no icon since windows still won't detect the broken card.

Dumb: Now double click the bars by the clock..

Me: Still no bars since windows still won't detect the broken card.

Dumb: Now go to network connections..

Me, cutting in: You working off the book? I told you repeatably that the card is broken, so windows won't make wireless icon and bars in sys tray.

Dumb: I see.. now go to network connections..

Me, cutting in again: I don't need to go there to know that icon's not there. I told you again and again, it's completely broken. Nothing happens when I plug and unplug card. It's like card don't exist for windows. Now send me to higher level support or set a replacement for me.

Dumb: I see...

Well the rest of story is that guy finally relented and set an exchange. Talk about bad combo of stubbornness and dumbness.

In least it's a good story now.

In the company I work for, our in-house Technical support desk has been outsourced to India. One day, our communications link to our field techncians was not communicating. I initiated a trouble ticket for it, stating that our CEs (Customer Engineers) could not communicate on their wireless devices. The call itself was frustrating, as a heavy accent kept me from understanding the Help Desk agent. But what really threw me is when she asked, "How do you spell CE?"

I had to take my lunch after that one....

I work in level 3 support for one of the bigger companies dealing w/ High Speed Internet Access (beep-beep!).

Just got off the phone w/ a subscriber that didn't have digital phone working in her house. Did the standard diags, everything came up fine. Asked her to check the phone line going from the modem to the phone jack.

She then says to me - 'Oh, I'm sorry - I unplugged that line so I could plug in a cordless phone in that room'!!!!! Explained that for Digital Phone to work, the modem had to have a phone line running from the modem to the phone jack. She had her son go switch it back, and then said, 'ok - thank you'. I wanted to double check to be sure everything was running, and the son had already done that.

Oh well - gotta love the customers!!!

I am the only IT person in my company of about 50 users. One of our departments hires a consultant. He is staying in a nearby hotel for the week and decides to use my services to solve his problem.

He has a desktop computer and he claims that eveerything was working just fine until he bought a new flat panel monitor. Now the computer will not turn on and he starts to panic. He says that if I can help him he will bring the computer to me. I tell him to go ahead.

He brings everything, computer, monitor, keyboard, mouse, etc. I start hooking things up and once I am all done I ask him for the power cord for his monitor. He tells me he brought everything he had. I tell this "braniac" that the computer turns on just fine, but he needs power to the monitor to see it. He tells me that he left an AC adapter on his bed (the power adapter for his monitor) but he assumed that it went to his printer. HE DID NOT EVEN HAVE A PRINTER. He became very embarrassed, very quickly. I don't know if he committed suicide or what because I never heard from him again. I have gotten quite a few laughs out of this one.

Ok I had to post this.

I had a customer call in. His remote to his radio is having problems.

The first question that comes to my mind was

Me: Have you changed the battery lately?

Customer: No

And it got worse after that.

And thought guys freaking out over remotes was a legend.

Here's a quick one.

I do tech support for a large OEM, and I support the hardware warranty; most of my day involves troubleshooting hardware, setting up RMA's, etc etc. Since the basic hardware warranty our users purchase doesn't include any "how to" training, we have a software helpdesk for those folks, who are glad to help you do whatever you want with pretty much whatever piece of software you have, for a nominal fee.

A few minutes ago, I get a phone call from a rather rude individual. He demands to be taught how to use a particular piece of software which came with his CD-RW drive.

After I told him about our policy, he called me some names which don't bear repeating, and I told him (rather more firmly than I usually do since I'm close to the end of my shift and have been ill all day) that if he continued using that kind of language, I'd terminate the call, as is my right.

He hung up. And proceeded to call back, seven times so far, and got me each time (I could tell from the call ID on my phone). And each time he hung up right after my greeting. I have to laugh.

I wonder if he thinks I'm the only person who works here now. Oh, justice, art thou not poetic.

For awhile, I worked with the tech support section for a German company (their head office was outside of Germany, and that was where I was situated). Now, I'm not a native German speaker, so you can imagine the fun I had contacting them when need be. By and large we remotely connected to their Linux machines, but at times this wasn't possible, whether due to the computer not actually being able to boot up, or connect to the internet, or myriad other problems. The people working there generally weren't the most computer literate of people either, so fun times were had by all trying to solve the problems - or in some cases simply work out what they were.

About a year ago, though, I got a call from one of the German shops we managed, complaining that the computer wouldn't start up - it was giving a disk read error or something. I told them I'd call them back in ten minutes, and asked them for their phone number. Duly noted down, I did a bit of research on possible causes (other than actual disk failure, which was what it looked like), and a bit of internet trawling led me to the exact same problem, which was solved via some tweaking in the BIOS. I called them back - "Hello, head office, we're going to try and fix your computer problem" - told them to switch off the computer, switch it back on, and hit Delete as it started to boot up to get into the BIOS screen. Once again, bear in mind I was having to tell this to the poor girl on the other end of the phone in my extremely broken German. Even more fun was had navigating through the entirely German BIOS. I was on the phone for about fifteen minutes with her trying to sort this out, when my boss pops his head around the corner. "It's that shop that phoned up 25 minutes ago asking whether you've got a solution yet." I stare blankly at him for a moment before responding that I'm on the phone to them now, talking them through it. He returns my blank stare and tells me that they're on the other phone.

They'd given me the wrong phone number.

I'd inadvertantly called a completely *working* shop, and without questioning me or pointing out that there was nothing wrong with their computer, they'd duly restarted the computer and had been happily tinkering with their BIOS settings for 15 minutes, while customers had been waiting. On the one hand, it's nice to know that they were willing to do whatever we asked them, but on the other hand I would have hoped they'd pointed out that they weren't having computer problems when I called them!

As a happy ending to the story, the problem turned out to be a complete disk failure, and there was nothing we could do about it without flying over there, so they got a shiny new computer out of it at least!

When I was a Desktop Tech one of my favorite compu-illiterates came to me with a CDROM problem. Now, at that time the company limited the use of CDROM drivess and physically removed them from the PCs prior to distributing them, so only authorized users could have them re-installed.

My favorite user was not one of the chosen, so I was curious to see how she intended to play it. When she demonstrated I just about fell-out laughing... There was no CDROM drive in the PC, but there was a pair cover plates covering the two 5.25" drive bays with just enough space between them to slide a CD.

when I had recovered my composure enough to do no harm, I opened up the case to retrieve the two (the original and demonstrated) CDs. I about fell over laughing again when I found not two, but EIGHT CDs in the bay. She said she thought some of the CDs might have been bad, so she kept trying!!!

Well, here I am again!! I work for a national company that supplies high speed internet access (beep-beep!).

Just had a caller in ealier today that was having problems with their internet connection.

One of the first things I ask them is to click on start, to verify if their getting a correct ip address. Their answer: I can't do that!! Turns out their computer would not boot properly.

But the kicker - they were blaming the high speed modem for their computer not booting properly!!!! And they were a little upset that our Level 2 help had told them the same thing, that their computer was at fault. But up to the end, they were still blaming the modem (Hooked to the computer only by a USB cable). Oh well.. gotta love 'em!!!!