Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

i once had a gentleman call in wondering why he could not connect to internet. I said sir from the looks of things on your account, you are not scheduled to have a tech out until tomorrow to hook up your services so basically your line is not activated so you would not be able to connect to the internet.

customer; well surely there is a button you can push.

me: unfortunately no sir there is no button here that i can push to get your internet working.

customer: well what if i went outside to where the pole is and see if i can flip the switch from there?

me: sir, we don't recommend that the customers climb a pole and fool around with connections they don't understand. I suggest you wait until your tech arrives tommorrow and they will get everything working for you.

customer: well can't you tell me how to do this? i really need to get online to do my online course.

me: sir, i am sorry that you will need to wait but i am not a field tech, i have no idea where your connection is or even how to hook it up. I am only tech support sir. I work inside not outside.

customer: i am sure there is something you can do from there and just don't want to help me. I know that you know how to hook it up and just won't tell me.

(this conversation went on for over 10 minutes and finally the customer said he wanted to speak to another agent that would be willing to help him so i said certainly sir and threw him back into the ivr good luck

A guy walks into my one-man computer shop with a notebook

with a stuck CD.

Easy, I think.

Unbent paperclip in the tiny hole, presto!

Except the tray is empty.

Flashlight shows no CD stuck above the hub.

The client says the mrs. may have been <strike>crazy</strike>

mistaken.

I turn the flashlight back on and look again.

You know how a stack of CDs looks like greenish glass when

seen from the side?

Just under the keyboard and just over the thin metal cover of

the notebook CD drive I see what looks like greenish glass!

I have the client hold the notebook with the drive facing downwards

and I bend the drive cover away from the keyboard.

A CD falls out, apparently unscratched.

So the last user didn't snap the disk onto the hub, just set it

on the hub and closed the tray?

(PS: A great way to smuggle CDs into China or out of Iran!)

On a Minecraft server:

<tuxed> <SNIP> I run Linux on my Craftbukkit server

<Skye_Wintrest> Doesn't work on my computer, for whatever reason.

<tuxed> What kind is it

<Skye_Wintrest> It's Windows.

<tuxed> More specific man. Oh yeah.