Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

I work in an office that is far removed from our company's headquarters. We are very small, so I (and one other) take care of most of the IT problems. A co-worker came in this morning and said that she was getting an error when logging into her machine. After describing the problem, another co-worker jokingly suggest that it might be user related. I jokingly reply that it sounds like an ID10T error.

They both look at me very seriously and the first asks, "What's that?"

I couldn't resist playing with both of them. I told them to go write it down on a piece of paper and I would look at the problem in a minute, laughing a little to myself over the (I thought) obvious joke they were about to get.

Now, these co-workers are competent and understand that I know more than they do about computers, so they listen to me and I don't mind helping when they need it. But I could not have prepared for what happened next. I walk into one person's office and she had done exactly what I told her. On her paper, she had written "IDTINTEA." I would have lauged out loud had I not been in total shock!

I said, "No write the letters I D, the number ten, and the letter T." She wrote "IDTENT." Again, I would have laughed had I not be in such shock.

"No, no," I said, "write the letters I D, the number ten, ONE ZERO, and then the letter T. Write the letters in all caps."

This time she got it right. Then she looked at me and said, "Now what." I think I actually died a little inside when she said that.

"Now read it very closely," I said. She looked at her paper again. Then she got it. Then she laughed and we had a good time. I was able to fix her error (something that really did need attention), and we went on our merry ways. I don't think I ever had to work so hard at making such a simple joke. But the fact that she is willing to follow me so blindly when it comes to technical issues is a little reassuring for when something major does go wrong.

I work as a tech for a small college campus. One of our student organizations decided they needed a better computer and ordered it. It was my job to install everything and remove the old computer. To save a bit of time and hassle of running cords I decided to just use the same power cords that the old computer used.

A few days later a guy comes storming into my office demanding the power cords that came with their new comptuer and proceded to lecture me about how they paid for new stuff and so should have it. I found the nearest set of new cords (we have hundreds laying around by now) and gave them to him.

I didn't mind that he wanted the new cords, but the attitude he had over something so trivial really made him look like a moron.

I work for a large IT company in printer support.

I arranged a replacement printer for a customer who had a faulty one and she called back to say that her new one would not print no matter what she did.

I started off with the obvious- is it turned on, is it plugged into the PC, is the printer software installed ok, do you get any error messages? She said it gave no errors, just came up with the status as disconnected in the printer properties.

Me: can I just get you to check it's plugged into the PC ok? Can you trace the USB cable that goes from the back of the printer to your computer?

Customer: yes, it's here, plugged in fine.

Me: Ok, what I'd like you to do is unplug it and plug it into the USB port next to it

Customer: I don't think I can do that

Me: It's shouldn't be a problem, just plug it into the USB socket next to it- try the one your digital camera plugs into

Customer: no, no, I can't get it to fit.

Me: you ARE using the USB cable aren't you? Not the power cable, the USB one. The one that goes from the printer to the computer, it has a small flat plug on the end.

Customer: yes. But it plugs into a box first

Me: Like a USB hub? Do you have any other devices plugged in too?

Customer: yes, I think so.

Me: Ok, I need to to unplug it from the hub then and directly into the computer- maybe there's an issue with the hub...

Customer: no, it still won't fit

Me: Can you describe what the plug looks like?

Customer: it's round with 3 prongs on it

Me: (silence)

Customer: I just don't see anywhere it will plug in the back of the computer

Me: That's the power cable.

Customer: oh, well, that's the only cable I have

Me: no, you have a USB cable as well

Customer: My last printer didn't need one

Me: (bangs head on desk) yes, it did, that's how the computer sends print jobs to the printer

Customer: oh

Me: Now, I want you to go to the back of your computer and find any cables that aren't attached to anything

Customer: oh, here's one, should I plug it into the printer?Me: please do

Customer: Oh look, it prints...

Another small one:

Me: Now, I need you to click on the "OK" button

Customer: I don't have one

Me: Can you tell me what options you have then?

Customer: I have an "OK" button and a "Cancel" button

Me: *sigh*

I was helping out a customer with her printer software..

Me: ok, first of all I need to know what verison of Windows you're using

Customer: uuuummm.....I'm not sure

Me: right, (taking a guess) would it be Windows XP?

Customer: yes, that's the one

Me: ok

(started the software install and get a BSOD)

Me: are you sure it's Windows XP? It's not very common to get blue screen errors with Windows XP

Customer: ah, no I think it's Windows 98

Me: *sigh* Ok, that's fine. We'll need to reboot the computer now

Customer: (after a bit) it's not doing anything, there's just a picture of clouds

Me: that's ok, that'll be your wallpaper, just let me know when it gets anywhere

Customer: I'm getting a bit worried now though, ususally it would have come up with a Windows ME picture by now

Me: *sigh*

It's been a couple of years ago but this run in with tech support is the reason I build my own computers now. About 7 years ago I bought a computer from **** (not Dell, someone possible even worse!) which after a while refused to connect to the internet. I checked every setting, reinstalled every driver, even changed the pci slot it was in, but the modem was dead. A lemon. The computer was under warranty, so I phoned tech support to get the to send a replacement.

TS: Hello, this is the **** support line. How may I help you?

Me: Hi, there seems to be a problem with my modem, I need you to send me a replacement. It's still under warranty.

TS: OK, first let me just take you through a few steps. What happens when you try to connect to the internet?

Me: Nothing. The modem won't dial. It doesn't switch on. It's faulty.

TS: Have you tried connecting to anything other than your ISP?

Me: Tried and failed. The modem won't dial any number. I've tried reinstalling it, checked the numbers, usernames,passwords, proxies, gateways, the modem's own logs and any other crap you can think of. The modem has a hardware fault. The modem won't intialise according to the log.

TS: OK sir, are you by your computer?

Me: Yes.

TS: OK, go to Start...

Me: Yes...

TS: Programs...

Me: Yes...

TS: Accessories

Me: Er, ok

TS: Communications

Me: er...

TS: Can you start up something called "Hyperterminal?"

Me: You could have just asked, but trust me, I've tried what you're going to ask...

TS: We have a diagnostic phone number to check for faults on your modem. Can you connect to ############?

Me: No, that's the problem, there's something faulty on the modem that's stopping it from dialling.

TS: Well can you just try?

Me: But that means I'll have to hang up on you...

TS: (Patronisingly) Yes sir, you will have to hang up the phone line before you can connect your computer. Don't worry, we'll still be here when you've finished, and we can then see what the problem is.

Me: Trust me, nothing will happen.

TS: Thank you for calling technical support, goodb.

[hangs up]

Unsurprisingly, nothing happens when I use hyperterminal. So I phone up again.

TS: Hello, this is the **** support line. How may I help you?

Me: Hi, I'm having a problem with my modem. It won't dial. It's faulty, and I'd like to replace it. I've just been and tried your diagnostic line using hyperterminal and I still can't do anything. Please believe me when I say it's faulty.

TS: Have you tried reinstalling drivers?

Me: Yes.

TS: Can your connect to anything other than your ISP?

Me: I can't connect to anything!

TS: What were the results of the diagnostic line?

Me: Nothing, IT DIDN'T CONNECT!

TS: That doesn't sound right. You'll have to try that again. You'll have to hang up the phone to try it again. Thank you for calling, goodbye.

[hangs up]

So their standard fix requires you to hang up. This might be a problem. I tried once again.

TS: Hello, this is the **** support line. How may I help you?

Me: My modem is faulty. I've reistalled drivers, tried different numbers, but the modem is faulty and won't dial. This is the third time I've phoned you, all I want is a replacement modem.

TS: Certainly sir, just let me take down your warranty number and I'll get a replacement sent.

Success! But not for long. When the modem came they sent a different make and neglected to include a driver disc because "you should already have the drivers on your Driver Disc v9" Not helpful when my computer came with version 3!

Finally, I got the disc. Shame that the modem that they had sent had been damaged in shipping! I tried tech support again THREE times before...

TS: Would you like us to send you a new one or would you like us to fit it for you?

Me: Since last time you sent me a broken modem, you'd better do it yourself.

TS: Right sir, I'll just warn you that it's standard policy to erase the hard drive when we pick it up.

Me: But I have important documents on their. I have several programming projects you can't erase.

TS: Then I advise you back them up to CD-R or a zip drive.

Me: This computer doesn't have either.

TS: What do you have?

Me: Nothing but floppies.

TS: OK sir, I'll put a note on saying that they musn't delete the hard drive contents.

Me: Thank you.

I'll assume that the guy was as good as his word, simply because I didn't get back my computer, I got back a different one of the same spec, but with slightly different hardware, and a nice clean hard drive. It even had a different OS on it! They had also loaded on the drivers for my old computer. NOTHING worked properly until I managed to load on the right drivers.

Later, the PSU exploded. By some miracle everything was alright. I put in a new PSU and it still works today. That was the worst computer I've ever had.

I work at swedens biggest ISP Telia. And thanx to annoying customers I had to change my awndsering name.

1.

Me:"Telias internet support your talking to Aragorn _____."

C:"What was your name?"

Me:"Aragorn _____."

C:"Sounds like a sexuall disease or a new lubricant."

Me:*click*

4min later after talking with my SV:"Telias internet suport your talking to Erik Nilsson."

2.

Me:"Telias internet support your talking to Erik Nilsson."

C:"Hi my name is _______ I cant connect to the internet!"

Me:"Ok, whats your customer number?"

C:"_______"

Me:"Ok, do you get any Error message when connecting?"

C:"Ummm...yeah 777."

Me:"Ok, have you checked the cord from the modem that it is..."

C:"MODEM?! What's a MODEM?!"

Me:"Well the modem is what connects you to the internet."

(Guided the customer and it turns out she dosent have any internal modem.)

Me:"Do you have any small box with lights on it? That is, do you have an external modem?"

C:"I dont understand what this modem thing is your talking about."

Me:"Well you need a modem to connect to the internet."(I go on and explain slowly what a modem is.)

C:"Noone told me I needed a modem! Isent there any other way we can get internet working?"

Me:"No I'm sorry but you need a modem."

C:"Noone iformed me that I needed a modem! I dont want a internet connection with Telia, you dont give enough information."

Me:"Well here is the number to customer service so you may ask for a reefund."

C:"Thank you!"

3.

Me:"Telias internet support your talking to Erik Nilsson."

C:"Hello, me name is _____. My inernet dosent work!"

Me:"Ok, what is your customer number?"

C:"_______"

Me:"Ok, what happends when you try to connect to the internet? Do you get an error message?"

C:"Yeah 691, it says somthing about my password."

Me:"Ok, what's your password?"

(I checked his password and it workes fine. When glansing true the logg I find that he has called in 10 times about this, and each time people have tested the pasword and told him to try again, I aslo see that a few hung up on him when trying to copy and paste."

Me:"Ok, your password is working fine. You use shift for the big letters and not capslock right?"

C:"Yeah ofcourse! Is it your servers wich are having problems?"

Me:"No, I tested your password towards your server and it works fine."

C:"Ok what is the problem then?"

Me:"Well the only thing it relies on is what you type in."

C:"No, I know I'm typing in the right password. It hasto be your servers."

Me:"Ok, if it was our servers I wouldent be able to get a connection with your username and password."

C:"mumble....I know I havent done anything wrong...Are you sure you really get connected?"

Me:"Yes, I do get connected without problems. Lets give it a try again."

(First I try copy & paste, but that was out of his league so I help him letter by letter, number by number witht the username and password.)

Me:"Ok give it a try."

C:"Ok bye."

(3 min pass and then)

Me:"Telias internet support your talking to Erik Nilsson."

C:"Hi internet dosent work. It says errror 691, somthing to do with my password. I think Telia might have server problems."

My father is getting on (81 yrs) and has managed to come up with a "problem" that had me completely bemused. Admittedly he comes from the pre computer/typewriter generation. As background I was working about 2500 km away so could not just pop over. Troubleshooting with him is difficult as we do not seem to speak the same language.

Problem as communicated was that the bottom of the email screen had disappeared (Outlook Express). Tried all manner of fixes, thinking that he had moved the screen so that the bottom of the OE window was off the bottom of the screen. After further detailed questioning, it turned out that he was typing a long email and he had got to the bottom of the window, hence no white space below his text - problem was that the white space had 'disappeared' I got hime to hit ENTER several times and lo and behold the 'bottom of the screen' appeared again. Apparently he had not sent any long emails in the seven years he had been using a computer so had never encountered this problem before. Total time spent diagnosing the problem and repeatedly explain that it was not a problem (his short term memory is getting very bad) was 25 minutes.

At least he has improved - the first year involving the transition from an electric typewriter to a word processing program (WP) was extremely trying, and I was working even further away from home then.

I am a technical support for a major DSL company. And I will agree we get all kind people who call for assistance.

I had one not to long ago who needed their username and password to finish the installation of their program. So after following policy and getting them the information required. I gave it to them and informed them it was all lower case. After a moment of silence the costumer asked the question "what is lower case?" I just hung my head down, and informed them to just type on the keys without holding another key down.

Got a smart ISDN customer.

M=me

C=customer

M:"Telias internetsupport your speaking to Erik Nilsson."

C:"Hi my internet dosent work."(Wonder how many times I'v heard that)

M:"Whats your customer number?"

C:"Blablabla."

M:"So what happends when you try to connect, do you get any error message?"

C:"Dont remember, but only the power lamp is on on the modem."

M:"Ok check the cables to the NTAB on the wall."

C:"Cable is fine, connected in the modem and in the S port on the NTAB."

M:"Have you tried restarting your equipment?"

C:"Yes, I have done that three times."

M:"Ok, follow the cord from the Modem, you dont have any switch or anything before or after your modem?"

C:"No....But thers a kitchen table standing on the cord."

M:"A kitchen table? Well move it off the network cord!"

C:"Done....oh now the lamps are on...now internet seems to be working."

M:"Good."

C:"You meen the cords are that lousy?!"

M:"Well a network cord i sensitiv, and.." *interrupted*

C:"Come on, they cant be that sensetiv."

M:"Well they are, and as you can see internet works now after you removed your table."

C:"Well yes...but, why do you make such sensetiv tables?"

I explained that we her ISP dont make the calbes...she rants on for a while then says goodbye...meen damnit her problem was solved, why bitch about the damn cable?! lol

Some years ago I read on Tech Tales about a gentleman who told a caller he could see everything she was doing. He walked her through a series of steps he'd been through a million times, to which she responded "it's like you can see what I'm doing on my computer." He decided to have some fun and said "you see that green light in the bottom right corner of the monitor?"

"Yeah?"

"That's me."

She kind of freaked out, but was impressed nonethless.

Well who am I to pass up on a good joke? I've got my own tech company - just me and a partner. We have an accountant that comes in once a week to do the books. The accountant is not the most tech savvy person in the world, so I've been showing him a few tips. He was a little worried because I was heading out on vacation last month and he was wondering where his support would come from. (my partner doesn't want to deal with the guy) I pointed out that I could remote into the system and help him through issues. "In fact," I told him, "I can see what you're doing and talk to you. See the speaker in the monitor? And that green light in the bottom right corner is a camera. Just call me and we'll work through the problem."

He took it hook, line, and sinker. My partner though stuck his head above the cube wall with a look on his face that said "what in the WORLD are you talking about?" I shot him a look back to keep his mouth shut.

I know I'm going to toast in heck for my jokes, but it's just too hard to resist. I consider them karma coming back at the users for all the abuse I've taken through the years. Off to find a BSOD screenasaver!

My friend Mike owns his own business supplying and supporting computers for small businesses and home end users. On more than one occasion he has gotten the following call:

EU=End User

M=Mike

M: Good Morning, This is Mike the Computer Guy. How may I help you.

EU: My computer just gave me a message that said, "This program has performed an illegal operation."

M: Okay...

EU: (Dead serious) Am I now in trouble the police?

M: (Currently rolling on floor) No I don't think so. But let me help you with your computer...

And they say I'm not too computer literate!

I work in a school as a hardware and network tech, some teachers possess the ability to log on without much hassle while others expect us to possess psychic powers. Let me explain...

We have TightVNC installed on some computers on the network basically because it is a pain in the &ss to keep walking to this particular department to fix their self inflicted problems. I had a teacher ring up and ask if I could increase the volume on the computer for her next lesson because it was too quiet, 'fine' I said and proceeded to fire up VNCviewer, 'Error connecting to server' 'Hmmm' says I. I did a ping on the machine and was getting request timed out, all the while teacher was asking 'Is it done ?'. I then asked her to double check the machine was on, her response 'Oh do you want me to switch it on ?'

I meekly answered 'yes', put down the phone and proceeded in a head hit wall scenario.

I worked in one of the campus computer labs while a student at university. This was a specialized lab open only to students and staff of certain classes in one department. One night, a new, fairly young, and snobbish proffessor's aide came in to do some work. She started printing a powerpoint document. But, as I monitored the printer usage, I saw that her document was almost 400 pages! Not usual, but not a big deal either. When I looked at the print outs, she had chosen a special print option available to the program. You can choose to have each animation printed out on a seperate sheet of paper. For example, if you have four bullet points on one slide that fly in seperatly when you click or press enter, that one slide will print four pages, with the first bullet one the first page, first and second bullet on the second page...

I paused the print job and waited for her to come get it. I showed her the pages and explained what happened, told her how much would print, how long it would take, and asked her if she really meant to do this.

"Oh absolutely! I need it printed out that way." Then she left, I unpaused the print and off it went. Putting several other students and staff in the queue waiting. When she finally comes back, I have the whole stack on the counter ready for her to pick up. She says, "Oh perfect," picks up the stack, turns around, and dumps the whole thing in the recycle bin. (I suppose I should be grateful she didn't put it in the regular trash can!)

I'm not happy. After telling me how much she needed those printouts, and me having to explain to irate students and staff that they have to wait for this other one to finish, she trashes it! Well, I wasn't supposed to do this, but I removed her printing priviledges. She tried to print out her document again and when it didn't work, I feigned surprise and went to her machine to check it out. I told her that there must be something wrong with the machine and to try a different one. When that one didn't work either, she moved again. After about five machines, getting more irratated each time, and me deriving more and more satisfaction out of it, she storms out of the lab in a huff shouting (literally, shouting) how incompetent we are, how important her work is, and how she is never coming back to work in that lab again! ('oh, no, please don't go,' i think to myself as i shut the door behind her.) How important can her work be, she is a teacher's aide! All she has to do is read the script the prof gives her.

Now that I think about, I don't think I ever returned the access to normal... Oh well, we never heard from her again anyway.

Okay, here're two things from a german guy. They really happened, as dumb as it sounds.

1: I was working as a helper on an insurance company. When there was a thunderstorm one day, we had a power outage. My job was on the PC, so, without power, I wasn't needed. I packed my things and went "bye-bye". Almost on the office door, I heard the department chief ask one of her colleagues "Blast it, when will they ever intercom the duration of the outage".

As if that wasn't dumb enough for me, I had the urge (and followed it) to get back a few steps and say over my shoulder "Not anytime soon!" She replied, with an 'Oh yeah? What makes you think that, whiz-kid?' - tone: "And why's that?"

Without moving a single facial muscle (alright, except for those necessary for talking) I replied "Well, the intercom works with electricity, so, duh!"

She still didn't get it, only her colleague smacked herself on the forehead... HARD.

2: Just a week ago I asked the german division of a certain company for non-alcoholic refreshment drinks with their base in USA, why a certain flavored drink wasn't availlable in Germany. The german division told me, it was company policy to have such decisions made in USA. Okay, I -mailed the same question to their base in Atlanta, Georgia.

Guess what:

"Thank you for your interest[...] but you have to call the german division, because it's country issue."

That got me thinking...

(I then asked the german division again, and they said they forwarded my request. Why not right in the beginning???)

About five years ago while I was in college, I was worked as a temp admin assistant at the offices of our (US) state's department of education. I m not a tech but I became friends with a couple of the techs in IT (partly because I could understand what they meant when they said right-click lol). Anyway, the new VP s office had decided that our section was not using our floor space effectively, and that at least two more cubes could fit (read: be crammed) in our side of the office. Our existing cubes were re-arranged, and two new cubes dutifully set up.

This particular morning, one of my friends from IT (I'll call her Maria) was lying on her side under the desk setting up the computer for the first new cube, and since I was bored and had little to do that day, I was assisting... actually I was just stuffing cables down behind the desk (not a computer desk by the way) to her while we gossiped ;). Everything went well until she went to plug it into the network - no cable. Maria crawled out and we searched, but all the cables were in use. She called down to her boss and he came up with another tech who I will call Linda, and a ladder. Linda was an older lady, and from what little dealings I had with her, I was pretty sure that I knew more about computers that she did. Anywhoo, the boss set up the ladder, helpfully climbed up and took down a ceiling tile (I was surprised to see the lines were neatly concealed up there since my university duct-taped all of their network cables to the floor lol), hopped down, and told Linda to splice in two cables for the two new computers while Maria set up the other computer. Then he left. BIG mistake.

Maria and I went to work on the second computer. Linda climbed up on the ladder with a tool in her hand that looked suspiciously like my dad's hedge trimmers, and stared into the hole in the ceiling. And stared. And stared. After a bit she stuck her hedge trimmers in the hole and SNIP. Then she stared some more, and finally got down. She got some cable and climbed back up. And stared into the hole. About this time, heads starting popping up over the cubes, and the same question was on everyone's lips. "Is your phone working?" Maria came flying out from under the desk. She climbed up the other side of the ladder and looked in the hole. And screamed "OMG! What the H*LL did you do?!!"

The next day, when the guys from the phone company arrived, we learned that Linda had managed to cut all the phone lines that serviced our floor and the three floors above. The next week, the cube dwellers who had been transferred to our section were very unhappy that they didn't have internet access yet. The next month, Linda was still working there in IT. Turns out canning state employees is very difficult, so they didn't bother. My tax dollars at work. Bah.

For the sake of protecting jobs and companies names are changed.

I work for a laser printer company, lets call it zebra.

One day I took a call from a customer who had yellow streaks in there color laser printer. The model number she gave me is a monochrome printer so things didnt add up. Also she could not give me a valid serial number. She was 100% sure that that this is a Zebra printer and that the model number she gave me was correct. I advised her without a serial number, I cant see her warranty, and would have to charge her to come out. She then proceeded to tell me that I was incompetent, and none of us (she talked to three people before me)knew anything about our own printers. She was so insistant that she went ahead and gave me a credit card. My tech went out and showed her the pretty blue oval on the display (not our logo) and said sorry Im not certified to fix this printer. That will be $400 please. Why you ask? because we told you so.

Note to idiots. Dont call Ford to fix a Chevy, and dont ask for a zebra specialies when you need a jackass.

Hello all. I do tech support (internal and external) for a large UK software reseller.

Three quick problems that have been brought to me in the last two days.

1) Cannot enter a number into the highlighted cell in Excel as the hightlighted cell keeps moving - solution: switch on Num Lock when using the number pad so the arrow keys and page up/down etc are switched off - enter number.

2) Cannot plug mouse into laptop - solution: PS2 mice do not normally plug into the AC power socket - use USB mouse instead.

3) PC shows nothing on screen when move the mouse - solution: Neither does it show anything when switched off - switch on PC.

At least my job is safe.

I've been working for my current company for about 7 years now and when I started, it was just myself and the manager. Now our department has grown to 6 and the latest starter is one of those techs that just generates extra work for his workmates. His latest one was a call he had to look at a fax machine. The additional line card in it was not initializing and so the fax was not operating. As a work around until we could get the unit repaired, I suggested removing the add in card so the fax would work with one line and using our spare fax machine on the other line. He did this but then he complained that the inkjet in the spare fax was out of ink. I gave him the new cartridge and sent him down to fix it. Next morning I got a message that the fax machine was printing blank sheets, so when I got to the machine, I checked the new cartridge and, you guessed it, the plastic tab with the label "Remove this tab" had not been removed!!

My husband and myself own a small computer company in the UK. At weekends and school holidays and any other time we cant get child care, our youngest son ,aged 7 has to come to work with us. To this end we built him his own pc to keep him out of sight and out of our hair, works most of the time. Except one day he needed a new keyboard, one of our techs replaces it and everything seems fine. Until I start to do the accounts and my mouse icon starts running all over the page then a box opens up 'delete such & such'. Im frantically punching the NO button whilst yelling at the top of my voice for anybody with a tech brain in their skull to come and help.Within seconds the room is full of techs all scratching heads, trying to calm me down ( dont ever tell a boss that the possibility of losing their accounts is minor matter), when from the next room comes a 7 year old voice yellin that his game won't behave. Ding a bulb lights up- the tech had put a wireless mouse & keyboard on his pc without checking the frequency, it happened to be the same as mine and whilst he was shooting baddies I nearly lost a years accounts (PS I do now back-up religiously)

I am a radio news anchor (announcer) for the U.S.' largest broadcast network which has bureaus in 70 American cities. Although our company is big, it's also cheap. Even though our corporate headquarters has a receptionist, at the local bureau they save a receptionist's salary by having the on-air people actually answer the phone. On many occasions while working at the one of the bureaus, I would answer the phone and get the following:

M. = Me

C. = Caller

M.: Good Morning, [broadcast network], this is Dave. How may I help you?

(Long pause)

M.: Hello?

C.: Oh, sorry! I though you were a recording!

Well, I AM a professional announcer!

This story actually happened to my mom - this is the best IT department ever. She used to work for a big insurance company that had it's own IT department to handle all of the computers and the network. One day something on her computer broke - to the point of having smoke coming out of the case. She unplugged the machine and called to have someone come replace it. The tech came down, looked at the machine, and agreed she needed a new one. When they brought the new computer down, the tech set it up, then told her that this machine was running Windows NT because "that was a more stable operating system" than what she had been using and that "being more stable made it less likely to explode so she shouldn't have any more problems." And all this time I thought that rule only worked in chemistry class...

I used to work as a waitress at the local Dairy Queen while going to school for my bachelor's degree. Since everyone knew I was studying computer science, I became the "system administrator" of the restaurant. We had just received a new computer and some software to track inventory and allow us to place orders online. I got the software set up on the computer and showed the store manager the basics on how to use it, then went back to work. About an hour later, she called me back to her office, complaining that she couldn't enter her credit card like the computer wanted. I explained that she could not put the card in the floppy drive and showed her how to enter the number in the box on the screen. This story wouldn't be so bad, but I came in next week to find her opening the CD tray, inserting card, closing the tray...

A few years back, I worked 3rd shift tech support for a company that supported several fortune 500 companies on their IT and help desk, and we covered ALL the accounts that had 24/7 Support. As 3rd shift calls generally drop to NIL after about 9pm, we had other things to keep us busy during the night hours.

One of our assignments was to go through the day tech's trouble-tickets, look for ways to improve the data entry and spot missing information for training new techs. One company that only had support from 6a-6p was a company that installed satellites for elementary and intermediate schools for educational satellite programs. One of the tickets I ran across was one I don't think I'll ever forget.

the ticket had all the correct information entered, and the tech's notes were straight to the point: " the satellite technician that was dispatched to install their dish was very short-tempered. When he could not get the dish to align correctly, he apparently ripped the dish off the roof and threw it into the teaching staff parking lot, hitting the assistant principals car. Please dispatch out a new satellite dish, and a new technician, as the tech that was on-site was arrested for disorderly conduct and destruction of property."

This made us laugh for 6 months......

I was working as IT support at a school that mostly used Macs. The only PCs were in the accounting department, where my mother happened to work.

One day, I was upgrading the computer for the other lady in the office, and was setting up her nightly backups. To make sure they worked, I ran one, and it took roughly 6 minutes.

My mother exclaimed that her workmate must have had a lot more information on her computer, as my mothers backups only took 2 or 3 seconds each night.

Thinking something wasn't quite right, I told her to show me how she was doing them. I watched as she inserted the zip disk, then dragged the folder from the desktop onto the disk.

Two seconds later, she had made a perfect backup of the shortcut to the folder. Total size, about 1k. This had been going on for over a year. Thankfully she had never needed the backup.

Shortly afterwards, I had set up a one-click backup process, that took about 8 minutes to run.