Tales From Technical Support Content
There is a quite famous mobile phone provider in Germany, who got a rate calculator on its website.
I am already customer, just out of curiosity (and for a possible rate change), I entered a few values via a Flash plugin, and the result was ... NaN ("not a number", usually due to a division by 0).
Well, I thought it could be out proxy; 1-way satellite connections (with dial-up upstream) use a HTTP proxy and who knows if Flash needs to know about it when sending a request to the server. So I wrote a request to the e-mail support address. An auto-reply told me it could take up to 5 days.
Indeed, the answer took its time. I should do the usual stuff with my browser (clean the cache, lower the security settings...)
My bad, I forgot to tell, I'm not using MS IE by default, but Opera instead. But I tried it on all browsers I have installed (necessary for a web designer to ensure it looks well on all of them) - MS IE 7, FireFox 2.0.0.9, Opera 9.23. The same result on all browsers.
Then I had the revealing idea to try not always the same settings, but a few more. And see: Some options worked, they returned valid rate suggestions. Only specific settings made the rate calculator return calculation errors.
In two more e-mails, the support team insisted in using the Internet Explorer (although I tried to convince them that a Flash plugin works browser independently).
Even after I called the phone support, explained the tech there how to set up the rate calculator in his web browser, and he got the same calculation error (yes, a smart phone-support tech exists), it took two more e-mails, repeating more and more directly that the developers have to set up exactly the given options and numbers into the calculator, and they have to use the public web server to confirm this issue.
If the bug is not fixed next month, I wonder if I will post the URL to the rate calculator here... They have enough money for pretty CG commercials with celebrities playing with floating bubbles. But common sense is probably much harder to employ.
I work graveyard for a major cable company. I'm a Tech II, which means I get to take care of problems that the regular Tech's cannot handle. The bonus is that sometimes during the whee hours of the night, I get calls like this.
Here goes...
"Thank you for calling ******** , this is Tony, How can I help you"
"HELLO? HlelloO!? *blurp* Tony? Tony? Happy birthday Tony,
its my birthday. Tony why does my cable...why does my cab... Tony My picture is dark, what is going on?"
"Ok, let me take a look (blah blah)"
"Listen..wait..Alex LiStEn...I have had this cable company for....6..7...3 years! What is going on? Who are all these people in my living room? Why don't I have a picture ob mi tebee? (Starts crying)
"*Sigh*" "Ok, (troubleshooting)
-Then I hear this Beeping sound, every few seconds...
"Listen, "Quiet back there!" (It's the beeping) Toby what is going on? why is this happening? I cant, *blurp* see why I have to call, I mean, yesterday was there on the top, and today, its on the..Listen Chris , just tell me what is going on. Why is this happening. Just take me home...
"Ma'm are you at home right now?"
"Yes I'm at home!? Im making some sanwish, What?.. why are you asking me that I'm home at my home?
"Ma'm what does it say on your "TV"
"It says 2:10.. Beef, Chicken, Manual? Well whatever , call me back on the earf, I need to get off this place, too many weird people."
-Come to find out, this lady was standing in front of her microwave... Next time, take it easy on the drink lady.
I worked tech support for an Australian ISP, and one day had the following call.
M - Me
C - Customer (English was her second language with a strong asian accent)
M: Hi, this is Kara, how can I help you today?
C: I cannot get on internet (she explains her brother installed everything and set it up for her, and he's overseas).
M: (Checking that she's not online first)Ok, we'll just go through a few basics. Can you tell me what lights are on your modem? (We provide service only to a few brands of modem)
C: Modem? (In a very confused voice)
M: (After explaining that the modem was the boxlike device connected to her phone socket via a cable, then another cable connected it to her computer.
C: Oh! Yes I find it
M: Ok so what lights are showing on the modem?
C: Orange
M: ??? Ok, the lights should have some lettering on them.
C: Huh?
M: (trying something else) Can you tell me what modem you've got, its name?
C: D-LINK
M: Great (Now we're getting somewhere). Can you tell me the model number on it (yes i should have been a little more specific here)
C: (Reads out the Serial number)
M: No it should be a shorter number with some letters, near where it says D-LINK
C: (Again reads the serial number)
M: Starts with DSL then some numbers
C: (Finally gives me the model number)
M: Ok the light second from the left, whats it doing?
C: It on
M: Ok can you turn the power off to the modem? Then turn it back on
(Check connection history and she's back online)
Thank you for calling is there anything else I can help with?
--- I was just thankful that it wasn't something really technical, it took 3/4 of an hour to figure out the modem type and what a modem was.
Kara
One of our directors sent out a company-wide e-mail reminding people to send in forms they have to get clients to sign, because the forms are tallied every day. For people in satellite offices, he suggested simply faxing in the forms.
This led our CEO to make this suggestion:
"Don't forget, before you fax anything make a copy for yourself."
I'm not sure if anyone's explained to her yet that faxed forms don't physically go anywhere ...
Before IT staff came in, I used to get landed with training employees on different programs. When Microsoft Outlook was installed, guess who had to teach everyone how emails worked? Yep. Me.
It started off alright. Even with emails and the internet being pretty revolutionary in our offices, most of the people were quick to learn and picked up the basics. And then I got to this guy, whom I shall call Shnooblethwatz in an effort to protect identity (despite the fact he retired about five years ago):
Me: Okay. I'm going to assume you know nothing about sending or receiving emails (this was my spiel that I'd developed through teaching five or six pairs individually).
Shnooblethwatz: Right.
I start going through the basics (this is how you compose a message, send it etc; the QA Manager's inbox was full of the same messages when I was done) when I'm interrupted:
Me: --type in the email address of the person you're sending it to and--
Shnooblethwatz: Do I need one of these?
He's pointing at the screen and I'm honestly not sure what he means.
Me: Well...you need the program, yes, but it's being installed on all the--
Shnooblethwatz: Yes, but can I get emails on my machine?
Me: Uh...you should be able to. (Uncertainty is not an uncommon reaction when dealing with Shnooblethwatz; other employees have experienced much the same thing).
Shnooblethwatz: Even though I've only got one of those?
Light begins to dawn for me at this point. What I see makes me wish I was still in the dark.
Me: Well...you can't get email with just a monitor; you need a computer.
Shnooblethwatz: So even though I've got the screen, I can't send or receive email?
Me: Not without one of these (pointing to the CPU).
Shnooblethwatz: Right, that's all I wanted to know.
Pause while I start going through the process of attachments.
Me: --and click on the paperclip--
Shnooblethwatz: So if I've only got the bit that looks like a TV, I can't do any of this, is that right?
Me: Yes.
Shnooblethwatz: So why am I even doing this in the first place?
A question I've been asking myself for years...
I'm not exactly a tech support worker, but when I first started work at this particular company I was the nearest thing they had until they hired a proper IT specialist.
At the time I shared an office with the QA manager, who was pretty good IT-wise, although she lost patience with computers very fast.
One day I was sitting at my own desk when I heard comments along the lines of:
Floppy drive: Chunk chunk chunk...
Manager: What...?
Floppy drive: Chunk chunk...
Manager: Oh, come on...!
Floppy drive: Chunk chunk...
Manager: What do you mean you can't read it, you stupid machine?!
Floppy drive: Chunk.
Manager: %*&$ thing! I'm going for a cigarette.
After she'd gone into the Smoking Room, I snuck around her desk to take a quick look. The problem was simple enough and I managed to fix it before she got back.
Floppy drive: Whirr...
Manager: Oh! So why wasn't it working before?
I didn't have the heart to tell her she'd forgotten to put the disk in...
One day while working Helpdesk a user called us and reported that his internet wasn't working. Here's the conversation...
M: Me
H: Him
M: ADP, this is IT2 ******, How may I help you sir or maam?
H: Yes, I'm having a problem with my internet, I've tried google.com, youtube.com and yahoo.com and none of them work.
M: Alright....let me try some pings...(a moment later)...yes, we seem to have dropped our link. I'll call radio and have them bump it back online.
H: Alright. Try to do it quickly tough. I have a lot of work to get done.
In my head: ...Google...Youtube...and Yahoo....you sound like you have a lot of work alright.
Every once in a great while, I carry a spare memory chip or a video card with me. I'll go to work on someone's PC and open up just to get the dust out and such. I'll put it all back together and then slip the chip out from between some papers that I brought with. I'll hold it up looking shocked and turn to the user and ask, "Do you remember where this goes?"
Warning: Reactions can be varied and strong
I have people that walk by and say "I hate it when he does that to me. I fall for it every @#$ time."
