Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

This is a tale about the strange way some people seem to have an understanding of how computers work in some ways, but complete ignorance in others.

I think it comes from sheer repetition of actions, without any understanding of anything that's going on underneath.

I work for a largish company in London as their primary web developer. Following a period of redundancies in the corporation I was left with taking care of helpdesk duties concerning the company's intranet.

One day I get a request to upload a video file (or files - the request was written with awful English) to the intranet so that others can open them.

I open the attachment to find a single file, "flip video for PC.exe". At first I think this is some sort of stupid malware that she's fallen prey to (remember the old MSN trojans, funny_pics.jpeg.exe?), but no. I ask her about it and she insists that it is in fact, a video file. I tell her that it can't be (I doubt this is a Bink-like method of packaging videos, and anyway, the file is only a few K in size). According to her, she double clicks the file on her computer and there's the video.

Anyway to cut a long story short eventually I start to suspect what's happening, someone else goes to her PC to have a look and sure enough, Flip Video is a video editing application that comes with the Flip video recorders. She opens the application on her pc, clicks 'open' and there are her videos.

We try to explain to her that Flip Video is just an application and the actual video files not stored in the program, but although she smiles and nods we leave with the distinct impression that she just doesn't get it.

Perhaps I should have guessed earlier (rather than sitting through an email conversation spanning several days), but I was new to helpdesk and I had never heard of anyone doing that before...

-- P.S ---

I've since seen this in other places as well - when talking to people about their music collection, I'll ask them where their music is stored. "In Windows Media Player". Questions as to the location of the mp3 files are met with blank stares. "Aren't they in Windows Media Player?"

Now I'm just waiting for the next job that comes in with a Word document attached - "winword.exe".

I am a strange creature 'cause I'm a reasonably computer-savvy MD. Because of this I worked as an IT manager in a medical center. The director of the center, another MD but with a bunch of letter after the name (Couple of PhD, MS, etc), called because the printer in the office wasn't working. Knowing the individual I popped into the office with my right index held up, walked to the desk and turned the printer on. The following day, same call, and the boss yelled on the phone that I should not come up with my stupid finger held up. So, I went up again, with my finger held up, walked in to the office, walked to the printer and pressed the button to load paper (it was an old pin printer that required to load paper when changing from continuous form to single sheets).

Worst chip of a computer?. The user.

I work for verizon fios tech support which deals with internet, TV and phone services. Normally at the beginning of the call we pull customers accounts up by telephone number.

I got a call from an enraged middle aged lady and when asked for her number she relpied "I don't have a fios telephone line." I continued to ask for the account holders name and finally pulled the account up. After my whole intro schpeel was done I asked how I could assist her.

She then went into a rage stating she had no dial tone and this was unacceptable and needed a tech out immediately for the fact that she's diabetic (she pronounced it 'die-a-bee-tus' btw) and this could entail with major risks to her health if she was unable to call for help. Baffled at her contradiction, I paused at her demand and finally asked, "But I thought you said didn't have phone service through us? And secondly, how did you reach me then (politely implying you must have a working phone, so what's the real emergency anyways, lady?)"

After referring her to her phone provider she then continues on..."Well since I have you on the line, I guess you could help me with this wireless internet thing.

Line test...MoCA port down - meaning router is either off or data port wasn't properly bounced to router and needs reset.

Me: Well my line test does indicate there is a problem at the router, can you check how many lights you have?

Cx: Router... what's that?

Me: Black box about 8 inches long, has an antenna, usually has 5-6 green lights on it.

Cx: Oh that thing? I kept tripping over the cords so I put it in the closet.

Me: So you disconnected it? If so we need to reconnect that.

Cx: Why should that matter?? (again getting irate) It's supposed to be WIRELESS. THAT'S WHY I WENT WITH FIOS, I WANTED TO GO WIRELESS! THAT IS FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!

Needless to say the rest of the conversation at this point, I lost quite a few brain cells that call.

Another funny wireless call I got was a customer in California called in asked. "So I'm trying to connect but I can't get a signal on my wireless."

Me: How far away from the router are you?

Cx: Oh, I'm not at home, I'm on vacation in Colorado.

The fact that these people can dress themselves is a miracle in its own.