Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

One of the things that users always seem to do is fail to realize that the way our software performs is dependent on what they're running.

We have a user that, when they run our reports on the server, it's lightning fast, bu slow on their workstations.

I've tried to tell them that it's something on their system, but they still insist on me troubleshooting.

We have an aging terminal service that is near end of life, as a result user's terminal sessions will occasionally get "stuck" and they need to logout. What they usually do is disconnect the session, not logout properly, and try to log back in. When that happens they resume right where they left off, a locked up application.

I tell them they need to select log out at the Start Menu to which the normal reply is, "But I even restarted my computer". I have been trying to explain to them for 3 years how a remote login works.