Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

A few months ago I had a customer that brought his computer into the shop complaining that he thinks that power supply might be bad (he wasn't sure). His reasoning? Well... read on.

One of his friends had spilled something onto the computer. Thinking quickly, he disconnected the power cord and let it dry. Apearently, this wasn't enough, however, because when he plugged it in, it caught fire. Immediately he unplugged it, and proceeded to put the computer out.

Then he plugged it back in thinking it was a fluke, and was surprised to see it catch fire yet again.

I do intenral helpdesk for a large, and famous software company, and often deal with people who think they are more important then they are. here is such a tale.

(A client has had a hardware failure in her machine)

Me: ok, I'll set up for a tech to come out and replace your hard drive for you.

Client: When will they be here? I'm only in the office until three today, and they need to be here before I leave.

Me: I don't know when they'll come out. I can almost garuntee that it won't be in the next hour though. Its first come, first serve.

Client: Well, that won't work. They have to be here, I'm very important in this company. Put that in there.

Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that, I don't have that influence.

Client: Well then you come fix it. I'm sure you can.

Me: Yes, I could, but I'm not located where you are. I'm in a totally different state.

Client: You lie! Everyone knows the helpdesk is just int he basement. You're only saying that because you don't want to help me.

Me: Ma'am, I'm in a different state, I told you that in the greeting. Moreover, no part of the helpdesk is in the basement. We are not mole people! I have submitted the form for a tech to replace your harddrive. He will be out in the next 24 to 72 hours. Have a nice day.

(I hang up and kick my file cabinet. )

Manager: What do mole people have to do with a harddrive?

Me: Nothing. She insisted that I was in the basement and just didn't want to walk up the stairs and replace her harddrive.

Manager:.... (walks away.)

This is an anti-tech tale since the boneheadedness seems to be on the part of the Tech. (feel free to disagree if you wish)

First of all, I have a setup of 5 computers that are hooked through a router to cable-modem that belongs to a major cable company. For the purposes of this story, I will call them Bombfast.

The internet usually goes out about once a month for a few hours while the TV signal still functions. After hour 12 of no internet, I figured it was more than just a signal problem. I went through the usual wire jiggling and modem resets to no avail.

I called up tech support at Bombfast and we went through all the usual modem resets and computer restarts. Fortunatly, this tech was sharp and told me to connect the modem to the cable on the outside of the house where it was determined that I was getting a signal so the problem resided inside the house.

After hanging up (stupid me for not getting his name) I went through all the internal connections and found one half screwed in. After tightening it, I connected the modem back up and I was good to go for that one computer near the modem.

When I tried the browser on one of the other computers, I got a page from Bombfast that welcomed me to the internet and wanted me to click a button to install some "installation software". I tried to go to different sites and each one directed me immediately to the Bombfast Welcome screen. Mind you, the original computer was still functioning fine.

I called up Tech Support again and got a "step reader" which means that if it ain't in her set of directions, it don't happen.

After explaining the problem, she had me do the reset/restart steps which didn't help at all. I then let slip that I had more than one computer attached to the modem through a router.

She first accused me of stealing from the company because I wasn't paying for a multi-computer internet account. I was not aware that something like that exsisted and asked her to direct me to that department. She quickly changed the subject.

She then ask me about my router, which I will call a "Melkin". She told me I should call up Melkin and get tech support from them.

I just had to rephrase the question for her: "You mean that I should call up Melkin and ask them why a screen from Bombfast keeps appearing on my computer?" She said yes.

I knew we were done so thanked her for her help and hungup.

15 minutes later I called Bombfast back and got a tech that easily address the problem in under 10 minutes.

A customer walks into my computer repair shop recently...

Me: Can you please describe the problem your having?

Customer: My computer is just running slow, probably a virus or something. I keep getting errors.

Me: OK Microsoft has had some issues with their new service pack 3 did you download service pack 3?

Customer: No I have comcast broadband.

Me: OK Thank you I'm sure we will be able to diagnose your issue.

Recently, on a project I was assigned to, I waited patiently for a co-worker who had a document

locked in our document control system. She had it open from 12:15 to 3:15 when I finally sent

her an email and asked her if she could get out of it for a few minutes while I made a couple of

minor changes. This is the email I was sent in return:

"Okay. But there is an issue with the max length field that will not allow strike through that

I have not been able to resolve. Can you take a look at it? I just released it."

I opened the document and highlted the max length field and applied strikethrough to the entire column and everything seemed to be working fine. I looked at the line she had been working on for 3 hours and then sent her this reply:

"Okay. As it turns out the 4 in the field you were working on was actually struck through, because it's a 4 and it has that little line going through it already."

I guess in 3 hours it just never occured to her to check the other numbers.