Tales From Technical Support Content
Support calls with one of my more ...interesting ...out-of-town users, far too often, follow this format:
"XX doesn't work"
"OK, let's take a look at it. Let's start by yyy"
(About a minute into the call...)
"I don't have time for this. I have to do zzz"
Excuse me... YOU contacted ME. Why are you terminating the call?
I've taken an insurance report on a "stollen" car (was it an apple, cherry, or strawberry pastry - did it taste good?).
I've been asked what to do about a "frozed" computer.
I've been told that someone doesn't know the "technical terms" - then the "explanation" was so full of references to "thing a ma jigs", "do-hickeys", and "what-cha-ma-callits" that I couldn't figure out what we were talking about, what it was (or wasn't) doing, and whether or not it was even something that I could offer advice on...
I couldn't tell if it was a computer, a printer, a sewing machine, a car, or a cat hacking up hairballs on their carpet. Seriously - please, please, please learn a little bit about what you are trying to talk about - because my crystal ball is fogged up and I can't see what you are thinking about when you tell me about the XXX doing something wrong - but I can't figure out what is going on at all.
And using bad language doesn't help clarify things, either.
If you think the "I didn't do nothing" kind of innocent users are bad, consider this story told to me by a former AOL custserv guy.
Customer (in a slightly whiny tone): "Why was my website locked? Just because I uploaded some pictures of my doggie?"
Service Person: "That seems unlikely, but let me have a look..... Uhm, sir? Is that your wife under the dog?"
*click*
I sold a used (no box or instructions) wireless mouse to a former coworker.
I'm pretty sure I opened the top cover revealing the storage location of the USB receiver.
A week or two may have passed between that and her purchasing it.
I get a phone call... It's not working.
I reminded her the shiny black rectangle has to be plugged into a USB port for the PC to
"see" the mouse.
I suppose one day PCs will just figure out nearby peripherals.
The message on the answering machine or email on my computer screen says only "My computer doesn't work." Well, maybe it's "My @#$%ing computer doesn't work."
No further information. None.
Brand? Make? Model? Operating system? Amount of RAM? Size of hard disk? Age of computer? Have there been any lightning storms in the area? what about large soft drinks knocked over sideways? Animals that might have chewed on the cables or done something strange to the computer in the night? Power outages? Fires in the house with smoke damage to the contents? Has the compuputer been dropped or bounced off the wall.
In short - I have nothing to work with in the way of information or a lead on which way to go - and since it is a phone call or email - I don't have the computer in front of me either.
I might have hit a real stream of luck and there is no way to tell who they are or way to contact them back - so how do I get in touch with Unknown Number (or Private Number) by phone? How do I email someone who hasn't added me to their contacts list, so my request for additional information bounces back.
I had this problem before - in other jobs. People just don't see why you need information about what is going on before you tell them what is wrong and how to fix it.
Caller: I have built my website and wish to connect to my file manager
Support: You can connect via a FTP client
Caller: who is my file manager, so that I can speak to him
