Funny and Humorous Technical Support Tales and Stories

This happened when I was working a few weeks ago...

Student : S, M : myself

S: Hey man, I'm in Computer Engineering at (name of College). I left my laptop at my desk for a couple of minutes and *shows me* this happened. What is it? Do I need to get a new laptop?

Can we guess what it is?

M: That is a screensaver... *moves mouse 2 inches*. And we're done here :D.

S: Ok, thanks. Now what do I do if I want it to stay on while I'm working?

So there's this user who has been hounding me on a daily basis for the last couple of days interrupting my morning ritual of self-affirming exercises and caffeine loading before the masses arrive in lynch mob formation like a scene from gangs of New York.

They say "My laptop don't work" as they walk by, adding the crucial technical details when asked why of "it don't turn on", so replying in my best technical support manner I say "Have you plugged it in?" the user looks at me as if I’ve just walked into their house on Christmas day and stole their turkey then ate all their chocolate and says "of course I have and charges off"

This routine takes place for a couple of mornings until I say "raise a ticket and I'll have a look"

Ticket comes in at the speed of light, marked with the highest importance I might add, I see a P1 priority, I think Christ they must be in trouble I better go over there sharpish, I walk over with a charger in hand as I like to cover all scenarios, plug it in and as if by magic the clouds clear, the sky turns blue and the screen turns on, all as if by “magic”

Again using my best technical support mannerism I say "remember when I asked you if you plugged it in? where's the charger gone from the laptop" and they reply " Oh I got rid of that ages ago, do you need it?"

My suffering continues.

The janitor at my high school (who poorly covers as the computer technician), checked a chrome book after it had been used by a student. It didn't turn on. He began checking other chrome books to see if they had the same issue. They didn't turn on either. He then declared that every notebook was broken. He got a wheel cart and brought all the notebooks to the administrator and simply said "It don't work". I happened to be there and asked jokingly if they were charged. He seemed to be at a loss when I asked him this, so I plugged it in for him and the notebooks turned on without a problem. He outright left the building without saying another word purely out of embarrassment.