Tales From Technical Support Content
So back when SP3 first hit, I ran into an issue, and so I did a little online research, and found it was a common one with a myriad of causes, "what the heck" I say, and click the microsoft support link, keep in mind, I have a looooong history with Microsoft, and in fact I get kicked to a tier 2 automatically now, as soon as I give them my customer ID, heres what happened from there:
I fill out the form:
Problem Description: I have XP Home SP2 and IE6 (because after reinstall updates wont work or I would have newest). I have tried every way I know to turn updates on but it won't allow me. I tried to update to IE 7 but gives me an error message saying one of the windows services is not running. Error message Ox8DDD0018.
And I cannot turn on updates, I took a look through my systems services and found nothing disabled that could have anything to due with updates, BITS is running as is Event logging but this isn't showing up in the event log, I receive Error 1058: The service cannot be started, either because it is disabled or because it has no enabled devices associated with it.
When trying to turn it on in services.
I have tried the solutions in the following articles, none worked:
(I list about 10 articles here, all microsoft knowledge database links regarding issues like this)
I am currently running avast antivirus home edition which is fully updated, I ran a boot-time scan and find nothing. This was a clean install, and even after doing a recovery by using my windows disk to boot and doing a "repair windows" I still have no automatic updates. I then tried Super Anti Spyware, to no avail, I have a clean system by their scans, so unless this is a terribly complex virus that has no coding recognized by windows defender (your own spyware scanner) Super Anti Spyware, or Avast Antivirus,then I am at a loss, it is possible, but I leave that to you to help me figure out. After the scans I tried a Regsvr32 wuaueng.dll reload and got a sucessfull message, after a reboot, I had no change.
As my file may mention, I have a long history of using windows, and am no ammeter at working with XP, I am a technician, I make a living doing this sort of thing, so please do not assume I have not used the instructions listed in the articles above, I have checked and rechecked several times. I have seen this same error before on customers computers but it was never persistent after making the changes in services or reinstalling the updates from a redistributable version.
I would greatly prefer not to have to format and reinstall again here, my last hardrive was damaged by a theft attempt and so this is my only drive at the moment, and what was my secondary drive, I installed windows and managed to copy all my data over before it was completely dead, now I am sending it off for warranty, so I have no way to back up my files (that many data DVD's would be cost prohibitive and since windows lacks a built in ability to burn data dvd's anyway, and I am not shelling out that much cash for a program I have no need of after one use, I have no alternatives left here.)
Now I feel this was a fairly comprehensive and sufficiently understandable opening play, heres my first responce:
Dear Steve,
Thank you for contacting Microsoft Windows Update Support. My name is XXXX, and I am glad to work with you. To contact me, please send emails to: XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com with the case ID XXXX in the subject line.
From your description, I understand that Automatic Update cannot be turned on with the Error 1058. When trying to update, the error code 0x8ddd0018 was received. If I have misunderstood your concern, please do not hesitate to let me know.
I understand the inconvenience caused by this issue. Please be assured that I will work with you through the course of this case until we find a resolution.
This issue can occur if one of the following factors is true:
1. The Automatic Update service is infected with spyware.
2. The Automatic Update service is corrupted.
We will address some of the more common causes of this issue. It is important that we attempt to connect to the Windows Update web site after each step to confirm whether the resolution has worked. This will prevent us from having to proceed with additional troubleshooting steps and provide us with valuable feedback to further develop our support resolutions for you and our future customers. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.
Suggestion 1: Scan for Spyware
========================
This step can help us scan and clear spyware.
1. Please download super-antispyware from the following site to the desktop.
http://www.superantispyware.com/
Please Note: The third-party product discussed here is manufactured by a company that is independent of Microsoft. We make no warranty, implied or otherwise, regarding this product's performance or reliability.
2. After downloading it, please double-click the downloaded file to install it.
3. After installing it, please launch it to scan and clear spyware.
Now try Windows Update to see if the issue has been resolved. Please let us know if this step has resolved it. If not, please proceed to the next step.
Suggestion 2: Re-register the Windows Update engine files.
============================================
-A bunch of instructions here-
============================================
-A bunch of instructions here-
=====================
-A bunch of instructions here-
=== Please find the screenshot on the Desktop and send it as an attachment to: XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com.
If any of the service cannot be started or stopped normally, the issue can be caused by the corrupted services. As Automatic Updates Service and Background Intelligence Transfer Service are the most important services for Windows Update. If any of them cannot be started or stopped normally, no updates can be obtained. However, please note that services are system related and cannot be resolved from a Windows Update standpoint, we may need to involve Windows XP system support to help us resolve the issue. At that point, I will separate a new case for this issue and reroute it to the proper channel. In this way, the case will be handled by an engineer who specializes in this type of issue. This will ensure the problem is resolved as quickly as possible. Thank you for your understanding.
In addition, please provide the following information for research.
How to collect System Information
=========================
-A bunch of instructions here-
Your feedback is very important to us. I would appreciate your confirmation or a reply from you on the results for the suggestions above. If anything is unclear, or if there are any questions about the steps, please do not hesitate to let me know. I will be glad to help.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
XXXX, XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com
Microsoft Windows Update Professional
realizing the technician (and I use that term in the broadest of senses) had not even read my email, I responded with a letter stating that I had complied with his suggestions and asked if he could move on, instead he sent me another one suggesting more roundabout ways of doing the same thing, this went back and forth a few time (6 emails all together) untill I finally sent him this:
I have already attempted all these tasks myself prior to contacting MS support, you have repeated the same advice now several times, your suggestions were also covered in the websites listed in my original description of the problem. As I mentioned in my original description, I am not just an average user, I am a technician, with over a decade of experience and a customer service record that has earned me a local business award, and to be honest, the recomendations you made would be found on many of the tech support forums found with a basic search online, SUPERantispyware found nothing, neither did windows defender, or avast antivirus.
But getting on with my point here, I have found my own fix, after doing more research, I used panda root kit scanner and located an instance of sdbot and another unidentified program, both of which I searched and found they had installed themselves through IE, they were allowed acess by the .net framework, and were running as microsoft corporation software in the task manager, it seems IE has another security flaw you need to look into, I then found several processes, including the following names, to be attributed to this infection: Cmd32.exe, winupdate32.exe, and xmconfig.exe. You can imagine my suprise that these processes were in fact detecting as viruses. they were unable to be deleted through normal means or stopped in the task manager so I booted into a linux live disc, opened these files with a hex editor, and scrambled them, then used a file shredder to erase, then write over the sectors several times permanently removing them and assuring none of my data recovery efforts in the future would possibly find them.
Following this I restarted in windows and ran %windir%\System32\rundll32.exe setupapi,InstallHinfSection DefaultInstall 132 %windir%\inf\au.inf.
To be honest, I don't think anyone really read my initial description in any detail, or they would have looked at the listed knowledgebase entries and perhaps then would have offered something more than what was already stated there, I am a professional in the tech field, while I appreciate your freindly tone and attempt at help, I am again dissapointed in microsofts lack of respect and the "script reading" manner in which my requests for assistance was handled despite my initial statements In previous requests even when I specifically mention exactly what steps I have taken before contacting microsoft, I find myself facing an email typically suggesting I do precicley what I had already done. I do not Blame you Mr. XXXX, it is Microsofts poor quality of end user support. If in fact anyone would actually read through and check on what I say in my initial descriptions, I would not be delayed by waiting for a responce in the form 2 or 3 copy/paste microsoft "professional" assistance emails (microsoft should really consider offering live support via chat to end users without charging an arm and a leg)
Thank you for your time and effort, but given how long it takes for this sort of support to go through the process, I find myself typically finding my own solutions, though this is not preferable, as it takes often more than a day to do for many of the problems I bring to microsoft, since it is typically complicated issues, most common issues I already know how to fix, and time is a factor in my buisness, so the new ones I try to give MS the benefit of the doubt and ask anyway. My apologies for wasting your time. And my apologies for the constraints micrsoft places on its technical support structure which invariably limit the capabilities of its employees to render aid.
Heres where it gets funny, this is the responce to my last letter:
Hi Steve,
Thank you for taking time to reply. Your efforts on this issue are appreciated.
I would like to apologize for the misunderstanding in my previous email. Thank you for clarifying the issue for me.
Before going any further, I would like to explain that you are currently in contact with the Windows Update Support Team. Since the issue can be caused by Windows Update side and System side, I will help you to narrow down the issue. If the issue is caused by corrupted System components, please understand a specialist of Windows is more qualified to help you with system issues than we are. In order to ensure that it will be addressed in the most effective way, we need to involve a Windows Support Professional to work with us. The specialists of Windows are more specialized in system issue, and they will provide you with solutions to troubleshooting the system issue more effectively. In this way, the case will be handled by an engineer who specializes in this type of issue. This will ensure the problem is resolved as quickly as possible.
This error can be caused by one of the following factors:
=================================
-A long description here-
=================================
A bunch of instructions here
Now try Windows Update to see if the issue has been resolved. Please let us know if this step has resolved it. If not, please proceed to the next step.
Suggestion 2: Re-register the Windows Update engine files.
============================================
-A bunch of instructions here-
============================================
After performing the steps, please visit the Windows Update site again and see if the issue is resolved. If the same error code persists after performing the above steps, the issue can be caused by a corrupted Automatic Updates Service. As the Automatic Updates Service issue is related to the system and cannot be resolved from a Windows Update standpoint, we may need to involve Windows XP system support to help us resolve the issue. In this way, the case will be handled by an engineer who specializes in this type of issue. This will ensure the problem is resolved as quickly as possible. Thank you for your understanding.
In addition, please also let me know if you receive any error message when trying to perform the above steps. Please provide the following information for research.
How to collect System Information
=========================
-A bunch of instructions here-
================================
Note: Since there are two Windows Update log files with similar names, please be aware that I am requesting the "WindowsUpdate.log" file without a space in the middle of the name.
-A bunch of instructions here-
================================
Note: When attaching files to emails, the process will vary depending on the email application being used. While you are composing the email, most applications will provide you with either an "Attach" button or a Paper Clip Icon to click in order to attach a file. After clicking this button/icon you must browse to the file you wish to attach and select it by either double clicking it or clicking it once and then clicking "Attach".
If there are any questions about the steps, please do not hesitate to let me know. I will be glad to help.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
XXXX
XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com
Microsoft Windows Update Professional
Now he refers to himself as a Windows Update professional, and says we need a Windows specialist, Ok, I can see this as meaning he reads a script and hes calling in a guy with actual training, but it still sounded fishy, then an almost Immediate email came in:
This is specialist XXXX from Microsoft Online Support. I am contacting you in regards to the Windows Update case.
I understand that you may have other priorities and do not have time to work on this issue. I will temporarily archive this case as Not Resolved until you have time to respond with the status of the issue. When you are ready to work on this issue, we will be here to assist you. Please send an e-mail to XXXX@css.one.microsoft.com and we will follow up with you as soon as possible. Please remember to include the case ID number in the e-mail subject heading written as: Case ID XXXX.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best Regards,
XXXX
XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com
Microsoft Windows Update Professional
----------------------------------------------------
Very satisfied customers are my top priority.
Satisfied customers are my top priority. Please let either myself or my manager know what you think of the level of service provided. You can send feedback to my manager, XXXX at XXXX@mssupport.microsoft.com.
Blown off as soon as I was escalated to a "specialist" wow, that was nice of them.
Yah, so that was my last experience with MS support, and it was typical, Just goes to show what outsourcing can do to a support line (see dell)
After all this happened I contacted MS customer service, reported the whole shebang, and lodged a formal complaint, now when I call I get transfered to a Texas office and get one of the guys who have a degree, and handles MS internal support normally. They dont do support calls normally for non MS employees, joy for me.
Oh, and just to mention it, these guys were sending me emails with an IP adress from India, and he and the manager had the same last name, as well as the additional "specialist" he called in. 2 people having the same name, I can assume it was a common name and let it go, but 3? I believe there may be a "family business" handling MS support in this instance, way to go MS.
So here's a conversation I just had with one of the folks in IT. Brief history: for us to print our own shipping labels automatically, rather than manually typing in all the info *every time* on fedEx software or website, they hooked up a computer (calling it a "server") to our main inventory/order/shipping system.
ME: Hey, were you doing anything with the FedEx server?
HER: I just shut down a couple of services, why?
ME: Well, turn them back on because it's not communicating right any more.
HER: Well that couldn't do it.. It was just running traces.
ME: Was that the big DOS window?
HER: Yeah, it was just compiling trace files!
ME: Well do me a favor, and please turn it back on.
HER: Okay, but it won't do anything...
Well she goes and does it, lo and behold we can make FedEx labels again! Fast forward to the next print-job...
ME: Hey Beth, did you shut down that service again?
HER: Yeah I did, why?
ME: .... Don't shut it down, leave it running. Every time you shut it off we can't get labels or ship-confirm anything!
HER: But I don't get it, it's just running trace files!
I don't care if it's playing "IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" on infinite loop, if every time you shut that one - and ONLY that one - off everything gets screwed up, then it's obviously important!
Stated Problem: "My internet doesn't work"
Actual problem: Monitor turned off (can;t see brouser)
Stated Problem: "My mouse/keyboard doesn't work!"
Actual problem: Monitor turned off (can't see the mouse or their typing)
Stated Problem: "The PC has crashed"
Actual problem: Monitor turned off (screen is black what else is it?)
Stated Problem: "The PC has just crashed"
Actual problem: Screen saver activated ("I was working on something else")
Stated Problem: "The sound doesn't work"
Actual problem: Monitor turned off (can't access a media player)
Stated Problem: "The monitor is broken"
Actual Problem: "The PC is on fire"
While working for a DirecTV subcontractor, part of my job was quality control for field technicians, meaning I would talk to the customer and ask how the tech did.
Once customer said he was happy with the technician, but not with the fact he had to pay for the tech to come out and fix his broken DVR (digital video recorder). The customer had put his DVD player (as well as a bunch of other things) on top of the DVR. As a result, it couldn't vent properly and components had melted.
Customer: you guys really should put a sticker on the DVRs to tell customers not to do that.
Me(helpful tone of voice): that's funny sir, when I got my DirecTV, the user manual said not to do that. Was that not in yours?
Customer: Uhhh...
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