Tales From Technical Support Content
Okay, so maybe the headline is a little misleading, but the story should make up for it.
I no longer worked directly with the servers, that is the network team's job now, but I still help out when I can.
In this instance I had been sitting at my computer when suddenly it, and all the other computers in the office, and the lights, went out, in fact all the power in the building had been lost. I glanced out of the window and confirmed that it was just us as the other offices nearby were unaffected. I dashed up to the server room to see what had happened there and sure enough, all the power there had gone and the servers were now running off the UPS systems.
Two teams were quickly set up, one to determine what had happened and get the power restored; the other to try and get the servers onto a stable mains power supply in case the UPS supply drained as well.
Then one of the more mature female managers came in looking worried. When we asked what was wrong she announced that she was concerned because just as the power went off she had been "plugging my vibrator into the mains to help relax me, and I think I overloaded the mains supply". There was a brief embarassed silence and then we all just fell about laughing when we realised that she had a vibrating cusion that helped relax her back.
We later discovered that the line to our office had been severed by workmen outside, but we have never let her forget the incident.
I work for an outsourcing company for an ISP. I got a call one day from a woman, frantic because she could not get online. I asked her what she saw when she clicked on Internet Explorer. She replied that she couldn't click on the internet becasue the screen was all black. At this point I told the woman to turn on her moniter. She was able to get online.
I do free-lance tech-support for friends and family because I can't find a job in the field yet.
I work for a mega-corp and I thought that people stoped calling the tower a modem along time ago.
Well we are going through a major departmental move because our department is out of desks. When a person changes desks there computer goes with them. This is the e-mail that went out reguarding the move just a minuite ago........
"Please verify if you have a modem at your desk that you are using today and need to move this week before close of business today. If you know of someone who has a modem and is not here, please reply on their behalf."
the modem is not dead :)
Before I tell this story, let me give a bit of my background. I was working on old TV's and radios before I even hit puberty. In the decades since, I've worked as an electronics technician and an industrial electrician. I even spent six months working to install reserve power generators on-site at power companies. These generators produced from 10-105 megaWatts, and had an output voltage from ~13,000 to 25,000 volts, and output currents up to 5,000 Amperes. I know how to work around such voltages safely.
Recently, my wife was cleaning the over-the-counter microwave and received a painful electrical shock. When I came home, I dug out my multimeter. In about 5 minutes, I determined that the metal frame of the microwave oven had 120 VAC (American line voltage) on it, with respect to ground. I unplugged the microwave and checked again. 120 VAC to ground. What? How could that be? It had a 3-wire cable, so should be grounded out when plugged in. I checked the three contacts in the cord, and none of them was connected solidly to the frame of the microwave. The contractor who'd installed the microwave had apparently not only attached the (optional) cord wrong, he also must have driven one of the microwave mounting screws into a live wire in the wall (a trick he'd done twice before, and one I had to fix twice).
In order to figure out where this voltage was coming from, I tripped breakers one at a time, starting with the range breaker. Got it in one. This wasn't too miraculous; I knew the range cable was directly behind the microwave oven in the wall. Wanting to have it done right, I called an electrician, and left a detailed sheet with the troubleshooting I'd done and my conclusions. I also noted that the range power was off at the breaker (for safety), but the microwave outlet, which was not on a separate circuit from the rest of the kitchen, was live.
When the electrician showed up, he read my note and checked the microwave oven frame to ground. No voltage. He then told my wife that she must have just put too much cleaner in the microwave. She reminded him that the range breaker was off. He humored her and turned it on, and nealry passed a brick when he discovered 120 VAC on the metal frome of the microwave. At that point, he called me and asked if the microwave was connected to the range. Well, since the range could be off, and the microwave on, obviously not--I told him so. I explained that the ground lead for the microwave wasn't showing that it was connected to the microwave frame. He checked that, and agreed (after turning the range power back off). I told hm my theory that the contractor must have driven a screw into the range cable by mistake. His response was "But that would cause a direct short!" Well, yeah. But since the microwave wasn't properly grounded through the cord, that it didn't trip a breaker as it should; it merely put lethal voltage on the microwave frame. He agreed, and I wanted him to fix the problem. I asked his hourly rate, and he said they worked flat rate. The first 1-1/2 hours would cost about $700 ($466/hour). 1-1/2 to 2 hours would cost about $950 ($475/hour). More than 2 hours would cost us about $2,000 (up to $1,000/hour). I told him to go home, and that I'd do it myself.
Here we are; a contractor who makes two mistakes that are potentially (no pun intended) lethal, and the electrician needs to be led by the nose to see the problem, and then quotes time-based charges after saying they didn't charge by the hour.
This is a joke I read several times. A programmer dies, and in the other world, they tell him he is entitled to a place in heaven. So, naturally, he asks them to show him what heaven is like.
They show him a giant computer network, best connection, best software... In short, everything is top notch;
"Here" they say. "you will spend an eternity as a user".
So, he asks:
"Yeah, I like it. Mind if I ask you what hell is like?"
"It's the same thing." They tell him.
"Except you are tech support"
I work tech support for an ISP and just today I received what is probably the most dumbest person I've ever talked to in my life. A guy called in saying his internet wasn't working. I acknowledged the issue and offered my assistance. He was really, really frustrated about it and wouldn't stop yelling. He continutes to vent frustration and he mentions that the power in his neighborhood has been out all day and hasn't came back on yet. Yes, he called in saying his internet working in the middle of a power outage in his neighborhood. Unreal.
